My resolve to take it as it comes tends to go up and down. I suppose that's the human condition to some degree, but I still need to battle it. Today I feel like crap and it's hard to accept. The way I feel now, and often for that matter, reminds me of the day after a bad drunk when I was younger. Foggy and listless and polluted. I do believe that part of my problem is poor sleeping but I don't know anyway around that. The significance of the saliva problem is probably hard for someone to understand. I think my wife is the only one that truly gets the scope of it's impact, and that because she sees what I go through on a daily (nightly) basis. Believe me that she suffers right along with me since our nights are a constant struggle to sees who sleeps less. When I sleep it is in variably with so much restlessness that it keeps her up, and when I don't sleep, I don't sleep. I'm grateful of course that I have the option of taking naps to make up a bit, but I inevitably feel worse afterwards. I'm not sure why.
But.....
tomorrow's another day.
Hopefully I will sleep well tonite, as last night was once again filled with bizarre dreams, and again filled with former work associates. Why in the name of god would I possibly dream about quitting my job at Magna to go work for a lawn care company that I barely knew more than 35 years ago, and do so for one quarter of the wages? And although I have no recollection what so ever of Ray Hallman the man, and I haven't thought of him or his company once over the last 35 years, when I woke up this morning I suddenly seemed to know that Ray Hallman Lawn Care rented space from my employer of the time, none other than Roycol Machinery!! And once I did quit a highly paid job to go push a lawn mower for Ray I soon discovered that the company was being put out of business by Magna!! It's insane!! And while the answer may indeed be simple John, not for a second can I just chalk it up to boredom.
The best way to deal with all this shit is of course a nice long run but that doesn't look like it's in the cards for tomorrow. We're gonna keep getting winter it seems like, and while I can deal with cold, snow, wind, and lack of traction, I can't deal with them all at once. We shall see. I'm gonna try something!
And that's it!
Computrainer 80 mins, 60 mins at 162
"Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties."---Helen Keller
Love
Peter
But.....
tomorrow's another day.
Hopefully I will sleep well tonite, as last night was once again filled with bizarre dreams, and again filled with former work associates. Why in the name of god would I possibly dream about quitting my job at Magna to go work for a lawn care company that I barely knew more than 35 years ago, and do so for one quarter of the wages? And although I have no recollection what so ever of Ray Hallman the man, and I haven't thought of him or his company once over the last 35 years, when I woke up this morning I suddenly seemed to know that Ray Hallman Lawn Care rented space from my employer of the time, none other than Roycol Machinery!! And once I did quit a highly paid job to go push a lawn mower for Ray I soon discovered that the company was being put out of business by Magna!! It's insane!! And while the answer may indeed be simple John, not for a second can I just chalk it up to boredom.
The best way to deal with all this shit is of course a nice long run but that doesn't look like it's in the cards for tomorrow. We're gonna keep getting winter it seems like, and while I can deal with cold, snow, wind, and lack of traction, I can't deal with them all at once. We shall see. I'm gonna try something!
And that's it!
Computrainer 80 mins, 60 mins at 162
"Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties."---Helen Keller
Love
Peter
Have all avenues (medical or otherwise) for attempting to improve sleep been exhausted? It sucks that your sleep has to be shitty every night because of the saliva problem and thus lack of quality sleep. Being not well rested every day can't help. Wish there was something I could do.
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a better sleep last night, and I hope you're able to get a run in!
Love,
Michael