And complicated and tiring. That's why I'm just gonna stake a few days off to catch my breath. Love you all to the moon and up!
Love
Peter
Love
Peter
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Monday, July 20, 2015
"Three Weeks!"
I'm glad to report that we are still leaving for Tremblant with our grandchildren on the 10th of August!! We have a solution to our travel and accommodation problems, which I'll tell you more about later.
Now the challenge for me is to put aside my other worries and focus on the final preparations. I suppose it's good news that because of wait times for roof trusses, they won't be starting on the garage until we get back anyway. It's still gonna mean that I'm gonna have to give up a bit of control to the insurance company, and while they surely have a slightly different agenda than I do, I also have to admit that other than taking too long for everything, they haven't screwed me over yet.
Besides I got a whole neighbourhood of people who do have the same agenda as me, and giving up some control to them is at least a little bit easier.
And as to final preparations, the biggest training consideration is one more long ride, hopefully on Thursday. Today was my last long run/walk effort which went relatively well, except for the man with the dog! Oh how brave people are when they have a weapon. He called me a retard and suggested than I wasn't smart enough to remember the 6 digits of his license plate! Funny thing is....his plate had 7 digits and I had no problem remembering them all. Retard! He will be getting a call from my friends at the neighbourhood OPP station.
Tomorrow I will start making my lists beginning with one specifically for the stuff I need to do before we leave town. Then of course there's the one for all the stuff we need to pack for the vacation aspect of our trip, as well as the Ironman specific list. I think just the list making exercise itself will help me get focused. I hope!
run/walk 25 kms, 6:30/km
"The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists."---H Allen Smith
"We like lists because we don't want to die."---Umberto Eco
Love
Peter
Now the challenge for me is to put aside my other worries and focus on the final preparations. I suppose it's good news that because of wait times for roof trusses, they won't be starting on the garage until we get back anyway. It's still gonna mean that I'm gonna have to give up a bit of control to the insurance company, and while they surely have a slightly different agenda than I do, I also have to admit that other than taking too long for everything, they haven't screwed me over yet.
Besides I got a whole neighbourhood of people who do have the same agenda as me, and giving up some control to them is at least a little bit easier.
And as to final preparations, the biggest training consideration is one more long ride, hopefully on Thursday. Today was my last long run/walk effort which went relatively well, except for the man with the dog! Oh how brave people are when they have a weapon. He called me a retard and suggested than I wasn't smart enough to remember the 6 digits of his license plate! Funny thing is....his plate had 7 digits and I had no problem remembering them all. Retard! He will be getting a call from my friends at the neighbourhood OPP station.
Tomorrow I will start making my lists beginning with one specifically for the stuff I need to do before we leave town. Then of course there's the one for all the stuff we need to pack for the vacation aspect of our trip, as well as the Ironman specific list. I think just the list making exercise itself will help me get focused. I hope!
run/walk 25 kms, 6:30/km
"The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists."---H Allen Smith
"We like lists because we don't want to die."---Umberto Eco
Love
Peter
Sunday, July 19, 2015
"Impatience"
I know I need to work on it, but I just don't do waiting well.
"When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?"---George Carlin
I'm almost too anxious to write.
All this insurance crap.
The Ironman thing.
And my freakin eyes! I'm tired of this fog.
I tell myself that in 4 weeks the IM will be over, in 6 weeks at least one eye will be fixed, and not too long after that we should at least have a garage back.
But I also know that that kind of thinking just leaves you impatient for the next problem to pass. I'm frustrated with myself.
Bear with me. Maybe it's just cause I haven't worked out in a few days.
Love
Peter
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Friday, July 17, 2015
"Humbled"
I spent a couple of hours this evening serving food to the less fortunate. It was an eye opening experience. I felt so naive. I have lived in this town for 30 years and had no idea that the need for this type of support even existed, let alone know that someone is providing it regularly. We served salad, cold cuts, ice cream and candy to 100 people of every age and condition. Many of them were handicapped, either mentally or physically, many of them were poorly dressed, many of them never even made eye contact as they shuffled by our station.......but every last one of them said 'thank you' when I put a few slices of meat on their bun. I mean, every last one! I notice those things.
The real glory of the evening however was experiencing the whole thing with my granddaughter. When the evening was over, she had only one question.
"Grampa, can we come back again next month?"
Damn I feel grateful! And damn it feels good to feel so grateful! I hope it motivates me to share more of myself.
....and I gotta give it to Jesus...
"For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and everyone who humbles himself will be exalted."---Jesus Christ
Love
Peter
The real glory of the evening however was experiencing the whole thing with my granddaughter. When the evening was over, she had only one question.
"Grampa, can we come back again next month?"
Damn I feel grateful! And damn it feels good to feel so grateful! I hope it motivates me to share more of myself.
....and I gotta give it to Jesus...
"For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and everyone who humbles himself will be exalted."---Jesus Christ
Love
Peter
Thursday, July 16, 2015
"Confidence Builder"
While I never set any world records I just felt good all day. If you haven't figured it out already, Ironman is all about endurance. That is why people of all different shapes, sizes and ages can do it. It really doesn't require any athletic ability, it just requires the ability to do the same thing over, and over, and over.....and most people can train their body to do this.
Today was the first time that I felt some renewed confidence in my endurance. My legs never felt bagged for the entire 170 kms. Mind you it was a perfect day for riding, and I rode a fairly easy course, and yet I know I could have rode for another hour without any issue. And although I decided to cut my transition run back to 5 kms from the planned 8.5, it was more a case of boredom than fatigue. I got a late start because I had a morning meeting and so by the time I got back from my ride it was almost 5 pm!!!
So, one more long one next week when I'll try to do the distance, and then the taper officially begins. Four weeks from Sunday to race day!!! Holy cow!!
And have I ever told you how much I love my bike!? Six hours sitting in the saddle is a long freakin time, but it's a whole lot better than sitting in my easy chair for the same time. My easy chair doesn't have a battery, it has only one speed, it's not black, and it doesn't hum a perfect tune as it rolls down the road.
ride 170 kms, run/walk 5kms
"Skill and confidence are an unconquered army."---George Herbert
...and this one just because It touched me...
Today was the first time that I felt some renewed confidence in my endurance. My legs never felt bagged for the entire 170 kms. Mind you it was a perfect day for riding, and I rode a fairly easy course, and yet I know I could have rode for another hour without any issue. And although I decided to cut my transition run back to 5 kms from the planned 8.5, it was more a case of boredom than fatigue. I got a late start because I had a morning meeting and so by the time I got back from my ride it was almost 5 pm!!!
So, one more long one next week when I'll try to do the distance, and then the taper officially begins. Four weeks from Sunday to race day!!! Holy cow!!
And have I ever told you how much I love my bike!? Six hours sitting in the saddle is a long freakin time, but it's a whole lot better than sitting in my easy chair for the same time. My easy chair doesn't have a battery, it has only one speed, it's not black, and it doesn't hum a perfect tune as it rolls down the road.
ride 170 kms, run/walk 5kms
"Skill and confidence are an unconquered army."---George Herbert
...and this one just because It touched me...
"Confidence in the goodness of another is good proof of one's own goodness."---Michel de Montaigne
Love
Peter
Love
Peter
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
"Small Town"
St Thomas was a small town even before the advent of instant news, and social media. Combine the small town gossip mill with the technology of communication and people know about stuff before it happens. And if it happened to you, they are never reluctant to ask you about the details.
So yes we had a fire, and yes, every last person in St Thomas and surrounding area knows all about it....or at least know their version of it
It has gotten a bit tedious over the past week listening to one person after another explain how they knew, (the local radio station news feed, and Facebook being the most popular) and then quiz us about just how it happened. It's all done in a compassionate tone of course, and yet there is also a large hint of nosiness in many of the inquiries.
And perhaps for the first few days it was even healthy for me to talk about it. But now, 10 days later, I don't really feel like discussing it with any more strangers, so I try to politely deflect conversation when people start asking.
We also live on a fairly major road which was closed to traffic during the fire, and that leads to even more people inquiring if we had anything to do with it, once they recognize our address. This happened today while I was uptown at the windshield place getting a stone chip repaired. The young man doing the work recognized my address, said he seen a bunch of smoke last Sunday, and eventually put two and two together and asked me about the fire. He was very polite and as such didn't really annoy me, so I answered all his questions. Besides he was doing a great job fixing my windshield.
And yet, one more time I thought, when will this end?
Not yet I guess, because as soon as he was done I went into the office to give the manager his $79.99 plus tax, only to hear it one more freaking time!!
"You're the guy that had the fire?
"Yup"
"Okay, you're outta here"
"Huh"
"Yah, sorry about your luck. This one's on me"
It took me a second to figure it out, but when I did my voice cracked and my eyes welled up. And I'm almost crying again as I tell you the story. The very idea that this man, who I have never met in my life wanted to do something for me just because he heard that I had some bad luck. This one little gesture, from one kind person makes me want to go shout things on the street about the goodness of mankind. He reaffirmed my belief that although lots of people are assholes at some point in their life (me included), most people are kind at heart for most of their lives.
So I don't know yet how I'm gonna respond to his kindness, I only know that I'm gonna pay it forward somehow, and that I'm gonna do it in his name. I hope he doesn't mind that I tell you that he is Dave Zegers, and that he is the manager of the St Thomas GO GLASS location.
Dave! You are my real life superhero!! I suspect that you have no idea of the significance of your gesture. I hope I never forget what you did for me today. You are gonna be my inspiration for my entire 170 kms tomorrow!
'"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."---Scott Adams
Love
Peter
So yes we had a fire, and yes, every last person in St Thomas and surrounding area knows all about it....or at least know their version of it
It has gotten a bit tedious over the past week listening to one person after another explain how they knew, (the local radio station news feed, and Facebook being the most popular) and then quiz us about just how it happened. It's all done in a compassionate tone of course, and yet there is also a large hint of nosiness in many of the inquiries.
And perhaps for the first few days it was even healthy for me to talk about it. But now, 10 days later, I don't really feel like discussing it with any more strangers, so I try to politely deflect conversation when people start asking.
We also live on a fairly major road which was closed to traffic during the fire, and that leads to even more people inquiring if we had anything to do with it, once they recognize our address. This happened today while I was uptown at the windshield place getting a stone chip repaired. The young man doing the work recognized my address, said he seen a bunch of smoke last Sunday, and eventually put two and two together and asked me about the fire. He was very polite and as such didn't really annoy me, so I answered all his questions. Besides he was doing a great job fixing my windshield.
And yet, one more time I thought, when will this end?
Not yet I guess, because as soon as he was done I went into the office to give the manager his $79.99 plus tax, only to hear it one more freaking time!!
"You're the guy that had the fire?
"Yup"
"Okay, you're outta here"
"Huh"
"Yah, sorry about your luck. This one's on me"
It took me a second to figure it out, but when I did my voice cracked and my eyes welled up. And I'm almost crying again as I tell you the story. The very idea that this man, who I have never met in my life wanted to do something for me just because he heard that I had some bad luck. This one little gesture, from one kind person makes me want to go shout things on the street about the goodness of mankind. He reaffirmed my belief that although lots of people are assholes at some point in their life (me included), most people are kind at heart for most of their lives.
So I don't know yet how I'm gonna respond to his kindness, I only know that I'm gonna pay it forward somehow, and that I'm gonna do it in his name. I hope he doesn't mind that I tell you that he is Dave Zegers, and that he is the manager of the St Thomas GO GLASS location.
Dave! You are my real life superhero!! I suspect that you have no idea of the significance of your gesture. I hope I never forget what you did for me today. You are gonna be my inspiration for my entire 170 kms tomorrow!
'"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end."---Scott Adams
Love
Peter
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Monday, July 13, 2015
"Turning a Corner?"
I feel a bit better today. I had at least 4 or 5 hours of sleep last night, and although I was still pretty anxious when I got up, it got better as the day wore on. First thing in the morning, I met with the guy that determines the value of our contents. This was the second meeting with him and I have to tell you that he has been exceptional. I truly believed that he was trying to help me remember shit that was in the shed, and although I'm sure that I will remember more stuff when I need it over the next year, I think that generally we got it covered.
Now a lot of waiting goes on, both for them to finalize contents value, and to get quotes from 17 different contractors in order to start the repairs on the garage. As I learn more about the garage I realize how disruptive it's gonna be when they start. When they say "attached" garage that's exactly what they mean. Because there is no ceiling in the garage right now you can see exactly how "attached" it is. I really don't know how they're gonna go about it, because when they remove the garage trusses there will be nothing holding up a good portion of the house roof. I'm probably gonna learn some things.
One thing I'm a little worried about is that we leave for Tremblant 4 weeks from today, and it sure would be nice if the garage was done before that. How else am I gonna "control" them?? I'm gonna talk to the adjuster in the morning and ask that they make it a priority. The shed can wait til whenever. After all, everything that we usually put in it is gone anyway!!
And if I didn't tell you this already, I continue to be impressed with The Cooperators insurance company. Every contact so far has been professional, yet compassionate. What a nice feeling.
I also took my own advice today and did some of the things that reduce my overwhelmed feeling. I went for a 20 km walk/run, and I spent some time with the kids. Even as I type this at 9:00 pm I am watching them play in the pool. They both love the water, and when they play together in the pool, they are especially comfortable together. It is a real pleasure to watch. I got in for a bit myself, but I wore my wetsuit. Pretty pathetic eh?
And today's silver lining? The weak Canadian dollar! Strange as it may seem, that will have a significant positive impact on the value of our destroyed motorhome. Who would have thought?
run/walk 20 kms
...and especially for my son Michael who has spent several wonderful days with us since the fire....
"Still round the corner there may wait, A new road or a secret gate."---J R R Tolkien
Love
Peter
Now a lot of waiting goes on, both for them to finalize contents value, and to get quotes from 17 different contractors in order to start the repairs on the garage. As I learn more about the garage I realize how disruptive it's gonna be when they start. When they say "attached" garage that's exactly what they mean. Because there is no ceiling in the garage right now you can see exactly how "attached" it is. I really don't know how they're gonna go about it, because when they remove the garage trusses there will be nothing holding up a good portion of the house roof. I'm probably gonna learn some things.
One thing I'm a little worried about is that we leave for Tremblant 4 weeks from today, and it sure would be nice if the garage was done before that. How else am I gonna "control" them?? I'm gonna talk to the adjuster in the morning and ask that they make it a priority. The shed can wait til whenever. After all, everything that we usually put in it is gone anyway!!
And if I didn't tell you this already, I continue to be impressed with The Cooperators insurance company. Every contact so far has been professional, yet compassionate. What a nice feeling.
I also took my own advice today and did some of the things that reduce my overwhelmed feeling. I went for a 20 km walk/run, and I spent some time with the kids. Even as I type this at 9:00 pm I am watching them play in the pool. They both love the water, and when they play together in the pool, they are especially comfortable together. It is a real pleasure to watch. I got in for a bit myself, but I wore my wetsuit. Pretty pathetic eh?
And today's silver lining? The weak Canadian dollar! Strange as it may seem, that will have a significant positive impact on the value of our destroyed motorhome. Who would have thought?
run/walk 20 kms
...and especially for my son Michael who has spent several wonderful days with us since the fire....
"Still round the corner there may wait, A new road or a secret gate."---J R R Tolkien
Love
Peter
Sunday, July 12, 2015
"Overwhelmed"
And not making any apologies. I will be fine, but for today, it is what it is. I know all the things I need to do to feel better, but right now I just don't have the courage to actually do them. I'll start tomorrow.
You see it's all about my rain barrel. When it rains too much, for too long, the barrel overflows. One needs some consistent sunshine in order to evaporate some of the water.
And yes, I also know that a person can call down their own sunshine, but this person just can't right now.
And still, since I committed, here's my silver lining for today. I'm gonna get a new wheelbarrow!!
"Sometimes when you're overwhelmed by a situation - when you're in the darkest of darkness - that's when your priorities are reordered."---Phoebe Snow
....and one of the greatest benefits of writing this blog is finding supporting quotes. So often I find timely advice. Like this.....
"Many of us feel stress and get overwhelmed not because we're taking on too much, but because we're taking on too little of what really strengthens us."---Marcus Buckingham
Love
Peter
Saturday, July 11, 2015
"Guest Blogger"
Thank goodness! I'm bagged....again!
Before I hand it off though I just need to say a great big thanks to Gail and Doug. It's your fault I had a tummy ache all afternoon! I think it was from the 17 chocolate covered strawberries!! Seriously guys....thank so much for thinking of us. The "edible" bouquet was fantastic!
Ok....here you go with my guest.
Today was a splendid day.
I came down earlier this week, and again yesterday evening to be with my parents, and it’s been really great to be around the family.
This morning, I went with my parents to pick up Kylie from her week at camp, where you get to ride horses and do other fun things. She was assigned her very own horse for the week, named Sundown (who she requested). Once we got there around 11:00 to pick her up from the camp, the kids were just coming in from their last ride with the horses. It was really something to be able to see Kylie skillfully ride, and then dismount and tie up her horse. She clearly had a wonderful week, and spent a good amount of time saying good bye to all of her friends and camp counsellors.
Later in the afternoon, we then got to go pick up Colby from his two week camp. He was smiling and happy when we saw him, and he also clearly had a great time at camp. It’s really gratifying to see this for both Colby and Kylie.
I’m glad that they’re back. Colby’s reaction to learning about the fire, and the losses, was measured. He asked lots of questions, the inquisitive boy that he is, and then was quickly making jokes and having a really good sense of humour about it all. I love that about him. He’s an immensely smart and curious kid, and his natural curiosity and intuition about the world will take him to great places in life.
Likewise, Kylie has a strong sense of confidence as well as empathy. I saw this in the way she skilfully rode and directed her horse Sundown at camp, while also being nurturing and caring to him. After getting home from camp, she noticed a Chipmunk in the pool, and literally saved his life. She got him out of the pool, dried him off with a towel, and again empathetically nurtured him and watched over him until it was clear he was going to be alright and eventually scampered away on his own. There was a moment when we weren’t sure if he was going to be okay, because he was quite still at first, but she never gave up on him.
All in a all, a lovely day, and I’m so grateful for my family!
Love,
Michael
Friday, July 10, 2015
"You've Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me!"
That's what my friend May would have said if she got the phone call I did this morning. It was from the insurance appraiser for the motorhome. "Could I please fill out and return to him the 3 page, 160 question, document describing our destroyed motorhome?" I remember thinking sure buddy, I'll just run out there and get the specs off the furnace, the air conditioner, the levelling jacks, the water heater, the awning, etc etc. Or better yet, I could have told him to go find the bin that his contractor stuck the thing in, and he could climb in there and find the answers himself. I could have also told him that the manual was inside the RV so he could certainly use it as a reference!!
But...........I decided not to tell him any of those things, and instead politely assured him that he could expect it back before monday morning. In hindsight, it occurred to me that he may not even know it was in a fire, since he was just assigned the case by the adjuster. Perhaps all he knows is that it was a write-off. And after all, the bureaucracy machine needs to be fed.
Anyway, I'm a pretty creative guy so I called the nice people at Forest City Motor Homes and asked for help. No problem! I headed up to London where my friends Rick and Gary completely took care of it. Amazing! While they worked, I window shopped :)
But that was after my easy 100 km ride, and after the week from hell I am pretty tired. On the positive side, my mood continues to improve every day, and I'm sure my physical stamina will follow soon.
Tomorrow the kids come home from camp so that's pretty exciting. We still have to break the bad news to Colb, and I hope he's not gonna struggle too much. He will definitely be bothered by the RV, so we're trying to think of ways to break it to him. I think he will be more intrigued than stressed by the shed and the garage. He will want to know all about rebuild plans. We shall see how it goes.
Speaking of which, Elly. The foundation is over 4 feet deep with footings under that, We have to remove the top 6 inches, the part that was exposed to the fire. Not having to redig and pour the whole foundation will save about 5-6 grand!! The floor itself of course needs to be completely removed.
And today's silver lining was thinking about changes we will make to the big shed when we rebuild. Lots of room for improvement especially for the winter, when Adrians car, and the tractor and snowblower need to be in there together.
And the other silver lining is hearing from old friends that you haven't seen for a while. Hey Lianne! Thanks for caring. Miss you!
ride 100 kms
"The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency."---Eugene McCarthy
"If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't."---Hyman Rickover
Love
Peter
But...........I decided not to tell him any of those things, and instead politely assured him that he could expect it back before monday morning. In hindsight, it occurred to me that he may not even know it was in a fire, since he was just assigned the case by the adjuster. Perhaps all he knows is that it was a write-off. And after all, the bureaucracy machine needs to be fed.
Anyway, I'm a pretty creative guy so I called the nice people at Forest City Motor Homes and asked for help. No problem! I headed up to London where my friends Rick and Gary completely took care of it. Amazing! While they worked, I window shopped :)
But that was after my easy 100 km ride, and after the week from hell I am pretty tired. On the positive side, my mood continues to improve every day, and I'm sure my physical stamina will follow soon.
Tomorrow the kids come home from camp so that's pretty exciting. We still have to break the bad news to Colb, and I hope he's not gonna struggle too much. He will definitely be bothered by the RV, so we're trying to think of ways to break it to him. I think he will be more intrigued than stressed by the shed and the garage. He will want to know all about rebuild plans. We shall see how it goes.
Speaking of which, Elly. The foundation is over 4 feet deep with footings under that, We have to remove the top 6 inches, the part that was exposed to the fire. Not having to redig and pour the whole foundation will save about 5-6 grand!! The floor itself of course needs to be completely removed.
And today's silver lining was thinking about changes we will make to the big shed when we rebuild. Lots of room for improvement especially for the winter, when Adrians car, and the tractor and snowblower need to be in there together.
And the other silver lining is hearing from old friends that you haven't seen for a while. Hey Lianne! Thanks for caring. Miss you!
ride 100 kms
"The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is its inefficiency."---Eugene McCarthy
"If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the bureaucracy won't."---Hyman Rickover
Love
Peter
Thursday, July 9, 2015
"Silver Linings"
When I look at this it's hard to find them.
Yes the man came with his big machine and took our mess away,which was of course good. He bunched the RV into manageable pieces and rammed it all in one bin, and then he clawed the rest of the crap all up and stuck it in another bin. It's quite clear That the floor is completely ruined, and according to Rocco the engineer we can salvage the foundation simply by cutting off the top six inches and replacing it. They are still responsible to remove the bad concrete, and after that the only remaining decision will be to let the contractor build it, or to do it ourselves. Money will make that decision, which probably means that we will be doing it.
And I have decided to find at least one silver lining every day for a while and today's is this,
Certainly you can remember listening to me bitch about the shingle on our garage. I have patched it at lest 6 times. Jon was gonna come down this weekend to fix it once and for all!
The engineer says the whole top of the garage has to come off! Trusses, sheeting, siding, and....you got it....the shingles!!! ha ha silver lining. I told jon to stay home and listen to his babes heartbeat!!
And just two more sleeps til Ky and Colb get home, and then all will be well with my world again!
swim 4000 metres, boring but easy
Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune."---William James
Love
Peter
Yes the man came with his big machine and took our mess away,which was of course good. He bunched the RV into manageable pieces and rammed it all in one bin, and then he clawed the rest of the crap all up and stuck it in another bin. It's quite clear That the floor is completely ruined, and according to Rocco the engineer we can salvage the foundation simply by cutting off the top six inches and replacing it. They are still responsible to remove the bad concrete, and after that the only remaining decision will be to let the contractor build it, or to do it ourselves. Money will make that decision, which probably means that we will be doing it.
And I have decided to find at least one silver lining every day for a while and today's is this,
Certainly you can remember listening to me bitch about the shingle on our garage. I have patched it at lest 6 times. Jon was gonna come down this weekend to fix it once and for all!
The engineer says the whole top of the garage has to come off! Trusses, sheeting, siding, and....you got it....the shingles!!! ha ha silver lining. I told jon to stay home and listen to his babes heartbeat!!
And just two more sleeps til Ky and Colb get home, and then all will be well with my world again!
swim 4000 metres, boring but easy
Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune."---William James
Love
Peter
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
"Lots of Ideas"
But no energy to put them on paper. My mind is still very cluttered. Somehow I think I'll be able to release some of the demons I invented on Sunday when my grandchildren get home on the weekend, and I can talk to them.
We continue to get the most amazing love coming at us from so many directions. Each and every message I get makes me feel special, but right at the top of the list are words of support from nieces and nephews. It just blows me away that they even think about us, let alone offer to come to our house to help out. Amazing family I have eh?
And amongst the many great friends I have, my buddy Rich is also way up there. He sent me this today, and I leave it with you as my close.
“This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…Let it be something good"---anon
Love
Peter
We continue to get the most amazing love coming at us from so many directions. Each and every message I get makes me feel special, but right at the top of the list are words of support from nieces and nephews. It just blows me away that they even think about us, let alone offer to come to our house to help out. Amazing family I have eh?
And amongst the many great friends I have, my buddy Rich is also way up there. He sent me this today, and I leave it with you as my close.
“This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…Let it be something good"---anon
Love
Peter
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
"Coming Down"
Gradually I'm returning to earth. I spent the entire afternoon with Roo and Michael talking about potential solutions for our Mont Tremblant trip, and it took me to a much better place than I've been in a few days. We have decided that we are definitely going to the campground again, we just don't know yet what we will stay in when we get there. We are considering Terry and Karens generous offer of a tent and a Coleman stove, but where will I keep my bike??
The other thing that has helped in the last 2 days, and in a way that people can't possibly understand unless you have been on the receiving end, is the amazing outpouring of love and support we have received. From a personal perspective all the kind words have helped me move past my feelings of guilt, as crazy as that may seem. I pride myself on not being a needy emotional person, and yet I freely admit that I "needed" to hear, that I didn't deserve this.
As an update, they have the garage pretty well cleaned up and closed in, and they received the go ahead today to start on the major mess. That was subject to the investigators report today, and apparently he told them that a) I didn't light the match, and b) they can't find any evidence to try to blame the manufacturer. They will start on thursday with the RV and the shed.
I also managed to get a little workout in today, but since it's easy week, it was just that. I did my run/walk thing for 15 kms, but included a bunch of hills. I felt petty good considering my lack of sleep, and my overall emotional state.
Stay tuned! Game on!
run/walk 15 kms, 6:25/km
....and this one may take a few of you by surprise but it seems to make sense to me...
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."---Jesus Christ
Love
Peter
The other thing that has helped in the last 2 days, and in a way that people can't possibly understand unless you have been on the receiving end, is the amazing outpouring of love and support we have received. From a personal perspective all the kind words have helped me move past my feelings of guilt, as crazy as that may seem. I pride myself on not being a needy emotional person, and yet I freely admit that I "needed" to hear, that I didn't deserve this.
As an update, they have the garage pretty well cleaned up and closed in, and they received the go ahead today to start on the major mess. That was subject to the investigators report today, and apparently he told them that a) I didn't light the match, and b) they can't find any evidence to try to blame the manufacturer. They will start on thursday with the RV and the shed.
I also managed to get a little workout in today, but since it's easy week, it was just that. I did my run/walk thing for 15 kms, but included a bunch of hills. I felt petty good considering my lack of sleep, and my overall emotional state.
Stay tuned! Game on!
run/walk 15 kms, 6:25/km
....and this one may take a few of you by surprise but it seems to make sense to me...
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."---Jesus Christ
Love
Peter
Monday, July 6, 2015
"Tired"
I spoke to 6 different insurance/restoration persons today, and have more coming tomorrow. They're sending a guy in the morning who is supposed to be able to determine cause and origin. When I asked them what was the point of that they said something about potential manufacturer liability, but I think the truth of it is that they wanna make sure I didn't throw some gasoline on it, and then drop a match. Good luck with that if they want to waste their time and money. Have at her.
Overall the co-operators has I admit been very good so far. They start cleaning up the garage tomorrow, and after the "cause and origin"guy is done they will work on getting rid of what's left of the RV and the big shed. I think everything will play out somewhat okay, and of course that's up to me anyway. If I'm okay with what they wanna give us, then I will be okay! One thing that's obvious is that it's gonna be a while until we get a new shed. That doesn't really matter of course cause we got nothing to put in it anyway. Fuck I'm sad about things like my saws and ladders and such! And such memories attached to both the RV and the shed. ...boo hoo...
They are also sending someone to sit with me on wednesday morning to try to rebuild my memory of all the stuff that was in the shed and the RV. This I thought was an excellent feature. Apparently they have strategies to twig your memory and hopefully we will be able to drag most of it out of my brain. We shall see.
And what I was not too tired for today was to enjoy the huge tray of wraps and salads that arrived at our house courtesy of an anonymous friend, but via caterer. I am please to report that Roo, Adrian, Mark, Michael, Miguette and myself all dug in, and will continue to do so for at least another day. Thank you dear friend....we know who you are!!
But like I said. Pretty tired so I'll leave it at that. Actually I will leave you with my most powerful memory of yesterday. A moment I will never forget as long as I live. I still get weak when I relive it, and it's a feeling I never want to have again. It was like this
My granddaughter looking up at me with the tears streaming down her face.....
"Grampa, I don't want the house to burn down"
And there stood the grandfather who she calls her real life superhero, also crying uncontrollably, and powerless to grant her wish....
easy ride, 42 kms
Overall the co-operators has I admit been very good so far. They start cleaning up the garage tomorrow, and after the "cause and origin"guy is done they will work on getting rid of what's left of the RV and the big shed. I think everything will play out somewhat okay, and of course that's up to me anyway. If I'm okay with what they wanna give us, then I will be okay! One thing that's obvious is that it's gonna be a while until we get a new shed. That doesn't really matter of course cause we got nothing to put in it anyway. Fuck I'm sad about things like my saws and ladders and such! And such memories attached to both the RV and the shed. ...boo hoo...
They are also sending someone to sit with me on wednesday morning to try to rebuild my memory of all the stuff that was in the shed and the RV. This I thought was an excellent feature. Apparently they have strategies to twig your memory and hopefully we will be able to drag most of it out of my brain. We shall see.
And what I was not too tired for today was to enjoy the huge tray of wraps and salads that arrived at our house courtesy of an anonymous friend, but via caterer. I am please to report that Roo, Adrian, Mark, Michael, Miguette and myself all dug in, and will continue to do so for at least another day. Thank you dear friend....we know who you are!!
But like I said. Pretty tired so I'll leave it at that. Actually I will leave you with my most powerful memory of yesterday. A moment I will never forget as long as I live. I still get weak when I relive it, and it's a feeling I never want to have again. It was like this
My granddaughter looking up at me with the tears streaming down her face.....
"Grampa, I don't want the house to burn down"
And there stood the grandfather who she calls her real life superhero, also crying uncontrollably, and powerless to grant her wish....
easy ride, 42 kms
Excessive fear is always powerless."---Aeschylus
Love
Peter
Sunday, July 5, 2015
"Check & Double Check"
One precious and amazingly strong partner, Claudette. Check
One beautiful son Peter check
One creative son Jonathan check
One studious son Michael check
One charming son Adrian check
One gifted daughter Miguette check
One inspirational daughter Alisha check
One brilliant grandson Colby check
One kind and gentle granddaughter Kylie check
One teeny weeny pending grandchild ...... check
An that is my checklist for all that is important. They are the priceless aspects of life that today I am immensely grateful for.
There are other things, but...sometime shit happens to "things'''
Motor homes! Who gives a fuck!
RV garages! Who gives a fuck!
Even this! (the inside of our garage attic!) Who gives a fuck!
I'm sitting in my own living room right next to Claudette as I type this. I think we were perhaps one minute away from staying at a hotel tonite. I have never felt so afraid, or so out of control my entire life. The fire started in the motorhome. I was running the generator just to charge the batteries, and when I came out of the house 20 minutes later to shut it off, I realized it had already stopped. When I opened the RV door it was only to get a face full of black acrid smoke. After a bunch of stupidity on my part I finally realized that my wife was right and called 911. I'm pretty sure that the amazing volunteers of the Central Elgin fire department were here within 15 minutes, and thereby saved our home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I won't bore you with any more details but I needed to at least tell you about it. Pretty hard to write a daily blog and then just pretend that one whole day never happened.....much as I'd like to do just that.
As usual my wife probably saved our house as much as the firefighters. And as usual she was a tower of strength the whole day. I'm still feeling totally overwhelmed, and what's oh so difficult for me, I feel totally out of control.
I'm gonna try very hard to focus on all those important things I mentioned earlier, and let the insurance people hopefully do the right thing by us. Of course we will never recover our costs, especially regarding the motorhome, but it is what it is.
And did I mention the good people from three local volunteer fire departments!!! There was one very special one amongst them who's name I never got. I think Kylie will remember him forever though. After all. He gave her "Sparky the Dalmation"!
One beautiful son Peter check
One creative son Jonathan check
One studious son Michael check
One charming son Adrian check
One gifted daughter Miguette check
One inspirational daughter Alisha check
One brilliant grandson Colby check
One kind and gentle granddaughter Kylie check
One teeny weeny pending grandchild ...... check
An that is my checklist for all that is important. They are the priceless aspects of life that today I am immensely grateful for.
There are other things, but...sometime shit happens to "things'''
Motor homes! Who gives a fuck!
RV garages! Who gives a fuck!
Even this! (the inside of our garage attic!) Who gives a fuck!
I'm sitting in my own living room right next to Claudette as I type this. I think we were perhaps one minute away from staying at a hotel tonite. I have never felt so afraid, or so out of control my entire life. The fire started in the motorhome. I was running the generator just to charge the batteries, and when I came out of the house 20 minutes later to shut it off, I realized it had already stopped. When I opened the RV door it was only to get a face full of black acrid smoke. After a bunch of stupidity on my part I finally realized that my wife was right and called 911. I'm pretty sure that the amazing volunteers of the Central Elgin fire department were here within 15 minutes, and thereby saved our home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I won't bore you with any more details but I needed to at least tell you about it. Pretty hard to write a daily blog and then just pretend that one whole day never happened.....much as I'd like to do just that.
As usual my wife probably saved our house as much as the firefighters. And as usual she was a tower of strength the whole day. I'm still feeling totally overwhelmed, and what's oh so difficult for me, I feel totally out of control.
I'm gonna try very hard to focus on all those important things I mentioned earlier, and let the insurance people hopefully do the right thing by us. Of course we will never recover our costs, especially regarding the motorhome, but it is what it is.
And did I mention the good people from three local volunteer fire departments!!! There was one very special one amongst them who's name I never got. I think Kylie will remember him forever though. After all. He gave her "Sparky the Dalmation"!
And all's well, that ends with well, with my family well!! Colby, in case you're wondering, will only find out when he gets back from camp in a week. I'm gad he wasn't here.
And I got no ambition to find an appropriate quote for this post, but if you have one I would live to hear from you. Peace!
Love
Peter
Saturday, July 4, 2015
"Happy Birthday Sonny"
I think the pic is about 30 years old. The boy himself is 34 as of today, and soon to be a proud poppa himself! Happy birthday Jonathan Michael Rooyakkers. Your life is just beginning.
Love
Peter
Friday, July 3, 2015
"Long Freakin Day"
But the end is drawing near!
My day started out at 9 am at Sally's lawyers office, where I put in motion the documents to finally close out her estate; 11 months after her death. Still one final hurdle to cross, but for all intents and purposes, the work is done. Hopefully just one more meeting with the beneficiaries, and I will be able to eliminate that stressor from my life. The end is drawing near. Woohoo!
After I got back I got organized and headed out for my long workout. That took quite a bit longer than the legal consultation. By the time I finished it was after 5 pm!!
And I think it went okay. I definitely didn't feel very strong right from the start but the good thing is that my endurance seemed fine. Because I felt tired, I was cautious throughout. and managed to finish my 160 kms without flagging too much. I was faster than last week, but produced less power. That would imply that today's route was a bit easier.
I didn't hold out much hope for my follow up walk/run however, but even that wasn't too bad. I had to guess at my distance because my watch quit at about 3 kms, which also meant I didn't know just how slow I was going. Maybe that's a good thing? I did stick with my walk/run throughout however. I could time that fairly well just by counting my steps.
And now it's 8 pm and I am bagged. Next week will be a little easier, and then one or two more long ones. I still have not decided which. I will try to err on the side of caution. Either way, the end is drawing near.
Six weeks from Sunday!!
ride 160 kms, 28.3 kms/hr walk/run 8 kms
....and here's a couple of good ones about the "big end'
"It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive - to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are."---Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."---Erma Bombeck
Love
Peter
My day started out at 9 am at Sally's lawyers office, where I put in motion the documents to finally close out her estate; 11 months after her death. Still one final hurdle to cross, but for all intents and purposes, the work is done. Hopefully just one more meeting with the beneficiaries, and I will be able to eliminate that stressor from my life. The end is drawing near. Woohoo!
After I got back I got organized and headed out for my long workout. That took quite a bit longer than the legal consultation. By the time I finished it was after 5 pm!!
And I think it went okay. I definitely didn't feel very strong right from the start but the good thing is that my endurance seemed fine. Because I felt tired, I was cautious throughout. and managed to finish my 160 kms without flagging too much. I was faster than last week, but produced less power. That would imply that today's route was a bit easier.
I didn't hold out much hope for my follow up walk/run however, but even that wasn't too bad. I had to guess at my distance because my watch quit at about 3 kms, which also meant I didn't know just how slow I was going. Maybe that's a good thing? I did stick with my walk/run throughout however. I could time that fairly well just by counting my steps.
And now it's 8 pm and I am bagged. Next week will be a little easier, and then one or two more long ones. I still have not decided which. I will try to err on the side of caution. Either way, the end is drawing near.
Six weeks from Sunday!!
ride 160 kms, 28.3 kms/hr walk/run 8 kms
....and here's a couple of good ones about the "big end'
"It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive - to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are."---Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."---Erma Bombeck
Love
Peter
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
"Grampa"
Yes?
Can you get me some breakfast?
Yes.
Can you help me fold this paper?
Yes.
Can you help me find my swimsuit?
Yes.
Can you take me to McDonalds?
Yes.
Can you cut a piece of wood for me?
Yes.
Can you glue this stuff on there for me?
Yes
Can you watch me do cartwheels?
Yes
And that was just today, and just one kid! Do I really need any more of this?
Grampa?
Yes?
What do you think we should call my new baby cousin if it's a boy?
lmao!! As if I have any say in the matter! Both in the naming of this pending new grandchild, and in the ability to say no to any of them.!
So the answer is apparently yes. I need more of this. And spending time with Kylie the last few days has reminded me just where my priorities belong. I was trying really hard to make some headway on one of my projects, and it seemed like every time I got on a roll Ky needed me for something else. It was the realization how easy it was to drop everything, and the realization of how much gratification it brought me, that also brought the realization that it's impossible to have too many grandchildren.
Game on!!
Congratulations to our son Jon, and his amazing spouse Alisha! They are going to be fantastic parents! Life is good!!
Love
Peter
Can you get me some breakfast?
Yes.
Can you help me fold this paper?
Yes.
Can you help me find my swimsuit?
Yes.
Can you take me to McDonalds?
Yes.
Can you cut a piece of wood for me?
Yes.
Can you glue this stuff on there for me?
Yes
Can you watch me do cartwheels?
Yes
And that was just today, and just one kid! Do I really need any more of this?
Grampa?
Yes?
What do you think we should call my new baby cousin if it's a boy?
lmao!! As if I have any say in the matter! Both in the naming of this pending new grandchild, and in the ability to say no to any of them.!
So the answer is apparently yes. I need more of this. And spending time with Kylie the last few days has reminded me just where my priorities belong. I was trying really hard to make some headway on one of my projects, and it seemed like every time I got on a roll Ky needed me for something else. It was the realization how easy it was to drop everything, and the realization of how much gratification it brought me, that also brought the realization that it's impossible to have too many grandchildren.
Game on!!
Congratulations to our son Jon, and his amazing spouse Alisha! They are going to be fantastic parents! Life is good!!
Love
Peter
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)