"Felt Compelled"

Some times you just need the right incident to shock you into action. or at least into thought.  Today I had one such moment. and I wish to share it.

I was at the drug store picking up a few things, and when I went to the til to pay it was way backed up.  They also have an exit out the back which I know from experience is rarely as busy, so that's where I headed.  To my surprise there were a few people in line there as well.  When the person in front of me got her turn I could not help but hear the start of her conversation with the teller.  She had a prescription in her hand, and the teller asked her if she had already paid for that.  She answered in the affirmative.

As I listend to this interaction the customers back was turned to me, and yet somehow I had the sense that perhaps she was somehow handicapped,  Down's Syndrome maybe?  It could be that the patience the teller was showing her as she searched through her purse for a payment method, also twigged me to the idea that the woman was somehow special.  She courteously ensured her there was no rush, and while she waited patiently, she packed up the woman's purchase, and also put her prescription in the same bag.

Anyway, I wasn't really paying much attention anymore as the woman inserted her payment card into the machine.  But then I did hear her say something to the teller, I just never caught the words.  All I saw was the teller taking the prescription out of the bag and handing it to her.  At first I thought that she wanted to put her drugs separately in her purse at the same time as she was putting her payment card away.  It wasn't until I heard the teller say, "I'll put this back for you", that I realized that something else was going on.  I want sure, but I considered that maybe she didn't have enough money to pay for her stuff.

As  the teller put her package back behind her for a later return to the shelf, the customer turned and walked away.  At this point I had still not seen her face so I wasn't even aware of any regret or disappointment she may have exhibited, but I sensed that something clearly didn't go right.  As she walked away I asked the teller what happened, and she reluctantly told me that the customers card wouldn't work, a clear euphemism for she didn't have enough money.

At the risk of embarrassing her I had to do something, and so I called out to her.  I had to chase her a bit, but when she turned it was clear that my diagnosis was probably correct.  Perhaps not that she had Down's Syndrome specifically, but her innocent reaction to me calling out to her, clearly indicated some kind of developmental issue.  I would guess that she was perhaps 30 years old.  Also her response to my offer to pay was without any embarrassment, and without any effusive gratitude.  Just a plain thank you.

You want to know what this woman had to hand back because she didn't have the money to pay for it?  I bet you do! It wasn't candy, it wasn't a magazine, it wasn't make-up! Nor was it a pair of sunglasses or a greeting card!   It was something I have never bought in my life, not even for my wife not that I would be ashamed to, but I can't possibly imagine the idea that if she needed them I could not afford to go out and buy Roo a package of maxi-pads!!!!!  They cost all of seven effin dollars!!!

Can you imagine?  Even as a man, I think I can.

Anyway, that's my story.  I'm sure I didn't do a good enough job of describing the emotion I felt throughout this little incident, but suffice it to say that it was good for my humility.

I need to contribute more to the world.

Oh and by the way, the teller embarrassed me a bit with her effusive thank you, not that I wanted it. I think she was just grateful that she didn't have to send the woman away without her goods.  Personally I considered the whole deal a gift to me.  To be in the right place at the right time, to spend my money on something useful.  I know my daddy would have been proud of me!

And whether today's episode has motivated me to do some more writing only time will tell.  Meanwhile, please know that I love you all, and that I continue to do the best I can with what I got today.

"Life is a long lesson in humility."---James M Barrie

Love
Peter

"Small Goals"

It may seem totally silly but my short term training goal is to run 5 kms.  Lots of people can do that, but lots can't, so I think it's a good place to start.  Actually I can already run that far already, but now I want to run it a little faster.  By the end of this month I plan on running 5 kms in 25 minutes.   I once did it in 18 minutes so that should be easy eh?  I have been getting out every second or 3rd day, and while it seems way too painful, it also feels good just to run.  I tried the trails a few times as well but that was still too discouraging.

I've learned from Elly that little steps are some times the best way to climb a mountain so that's gonna be my new attitude.  Once I achieve this goal, I will move on to the next.

And as much as I hate to give him credit, please check out John's comment on yesterdays post.  Very insightful John.  Thanks.

run 5 kms, 26:27

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."---Zig Ziglar

Love

"I have a question?"

Is it a healthy thing for one to pour out their worries, fears and frustrations?  I struggle with this question for a few reasons, not the least of which is wondering how it may affect others.  I know the biggest struggle in my life is worrying about the happiness of those I love, and as such I am reluctant to burden them with my personal woes for fear that I will dampen their spirits, and in essence create a vicious circle.  I just don't know.

The other consideration is the age old question of self fulfilling prophecies.  I believe that for me, airing my pain brings me some relief, at least in the short term.  But on the other hand, does talking about it make the fears a reality??  I just don't know.

And another question still on my mind, while probably less significant in the big picture, is still an uncertainty.  That's about these eyes of mine.  While I am generally feel quite content with my eyesight without correction, I do still find them quite sore at times, and I often have a headache by the evening.  I worry that I 'm  straining them.  Certainly if I added glasses my overall eyesight would be spectacular, but I'm not ready to concede that yet.  At the very least I will wait until I see the optometrist in a few weeks.  For now, I just know.

Besides, I can now legally drive in Ontario without corrective lenses.  For the first time in my 44 years of holding a permit!!!!!  I went and got the asterisk removed from my license the other day.  My vision was measured at 20/40 with 170 degrees of peripheral vision.  The minimums are 20/50, and 120.  The funny things is that at distance I can see better using my left eye only.  I think because I am right eye dominant, and that is the eye programmed for close up sight, that it tends to try to take over even at distance.  Certainly the right eye is the one that causes double lights at night.

But while the jury is still out long term I continue to be amazed at what I now have.  I still laugh at myself several times a day as I adjust to not have the specs sitting on my face.  Today I caught myself scrunching up my nose to reposition my glasses on my face.  I also still try to take them off every night when I'm done reading, and I always slide my finger up my cheekbone and under the lens in order to scratch an itchy eye.

And along with the unlearning which I'm sure will come naturally, there is some intentional learning I need to do.  The biggest single challenge for me will be to start wearing safety glasses when appropriate.  It's already happened a few times that I got crap in my eyes, and I was always totally surprised.

Speaking of challenges, I am trying to type with one hand because the other one is tied up with something much more important!  But I ain't complaining. I will happily be handicapped for as long as she's prepared to sit with me.

And that's all I got for today.  Please think hard about my question, cause I really just don't know.

To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge."---Nicolaus Copernicus

"I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well."---Robert Benchley

Love
Peter