"I Feel 50 Years Old!"

Today was the best workout day I've had in at least 2 months!  Funny thing is that I sure didn't expect it, based on how I felt first thing this morning. But soon after I got out there I felt different.  My legs were a bit tired but something else was going on as well.  I don't specifically know what encouraged me to start out a little harder, other then that it felt right.  I still did my 1/2 minute, run/walk, but I ran faster and walked faster.  For some reason I was also possessed to add some hills into the session.  The Mont Tremblant course has one section of about 4-5 kms that is all rolling hills, and you have to do that section both ways, not once, but twice.  Towards that end, I included 8 kms of hills as part of my 24.  During the hill portion I altered the pattern to simply walk up the hills and run down, but other than that I never changed my run/walk ratio even the teeniest bit.  Every time I was due for a walk I took it.  No cheating in order to improve my overall pace

And I'm still amazed at how it all worked out.  I wouldn't have believed it was possible to maintain this pace based on spending 2/3rds of the time walking.  I am absolutely convinced that practicing my walking has made it more natural and less stressful.

But still that doesn't completely explain it.  Somehow I just felt different today.  Although I completely ran out of gas near the end, up until that point I was in complete control, and my pace never wavered.  As matter of fact it actually got a bit faster as I went on, and I didn't lose anything during the hill portions. Also  I think I only ran out of gas because I got a bit dehydrated. (I lost 4 1/2 lbs)

The other very positive factor today was my heart rate.  Once upon  a time I would be happy if I could keep it down, but now a good day is one where I can get it up!  (no double meaning  intended :) My rate rarely dipped below 130 even while walking, which is very good news.  What was very cool was that running down the hills, and walking up, resulted in approximately the same rate

So there you have it.  I'm taking a great big positive out of the day, and when I have a rougher day I'm gonna look back at today.  Even as I acknowledge that there may be least gratifying days in the future, I can tell you with the utmost confidence that tomorrow won't be one of them.  And if that seems a bit cryptic, then I suggest you read tomorrows post for clarification.  :)

Oh, and I almost forgot.  I topped off this encouraging day with the unquestionable honour of escorting her royal highness to the beach for a couple of hours.

I never want to take this little girl for granted, nor forget to be grateful that I live 10 minutes away from one of the Great lakes.

And speaking of being grateful.  How about the fact that I live in a country where you can find this in a public washroom, on a public beach!!!

I have visited at least 5 countries on this planet where every last  one of these would be gone within minutes of them being put on display!!  This country is so great as to inspire me to even tolerate its current Prime Minister.  Thank you Mr Harper for being nor more than a puddle in my otherwise perfect driveway!!

walk 2/run 1    24 kms, 6:06/km

"It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline."---George Lindsey

Love
Peter

"Had a Good Nights Sleep"

Which made for an even better day.  I love these days when I'm busy, busy.  Got lot's of stuff done again.  I think my to-do list is effectively down to about 17 years worth of work.  Funny how it keeps building back up again eh?

I did break one more promise today and that was in regards to the pool.  I suppose I should have gone yesterday when it was still raining, because the sunshine this morning called me out on my bike.  I'm pleased to say that the programming changes all worked out as expected, and also proud to say that I was able to ride very relaxed with so sense of "race".

Tomorrow I will try a long walk/run again but I have already decided that if I need to limit it to 20 kms, then I'm gonna be okay with that.  I promise!!

ride, 43 kms

"We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile."---Earl Nightingale

Love
Peter

"Up Late. Up Early"

Believe it or not I was up until almost one am.  I had purchased an interface for my bike so that I could program the electronic shifters by myself, and last evening I decided to download the software and give it a shot.  The local bike shop (London)  told me that I couldn't do it myself, and as a matter of fact went so far as to tell me that I couldn't even purchase the necessary hardware.  They suggested I bring my bike in to them and they could have it back to me within a couple of days!  Not!!  Fortunately the terrific guys at Neworld Cycle where I bought my bike ordered everything  and mailed it to me.  They did caution me to be very careful, but they didn't try to dissuade me.

And it was a bit tricky but only because the documentation wasn't great.  Shimano has so much technical development on the go that it's hard to stay current.  And because there are so many versions of their systems, the manuals tend to be a bit generic.  I almost gave it up and went to bed with the idea that I could call Odd John in the morning for some help.  I don't know if that motivated me to try a few more things, but regardless, I made the freakin thing work!  And it is very, very cool!!  I can do everything that the bike shop can do, including updating the firmware of the components as they make improvements.  I can program any of the 8 buttons to do anything I want.  I can change how many cogs it cycles through by holding a button down, and I can change the speed at which it shifts .  Freakin amazing!!

For now all I did was limit the rear derailleur  to 3 cogs with one push, and I sped up the overall shifting. I will continue to play with it, and then road test my changes.  I mentioned the ability to update the firmware without giving money to the bike shop and this should be of great advantage over the next few years.  As they add features I will simply be able to update accordingly.  They already have this unfreakin-believable thing for mountain bikes.  If you ride a bicycle you need to check out Synchro-Shift   Brilliant!!

Anyway I went to bed with a feeling of satisfaction and it was only as I crawled into bed that I remember that Colb had to head off to camp in the morning.  Five hours sleep just isn't enough for this old grampa, but I wouldn't miss this sending off ritual for the world.  Enjoy your 2 weeks at Camp CQE, my dearest grandson.

And despite the lack of sleep, I had a very productive day which included repairs to the RV, the lawnmower, the hot tub cover lifter that I made myself, and then I finished out the day by fixing the hot water heater over at the neighbours.  I celebrated a successful day with a nice soak in the hot tub with her highness!  Life is good.

What I did not do is go to the pool, but I'm good with that.  After all it's Sunday!  And for the second night in a row I go to bed with a sense of satisfaction. Well three actually.  My long bike ride on friday was also good.  Game on!

...and this touched a nerve with me even though it's not relevant to my post..

'Most of us live in a fog. It's like life is a movie we arrived to 20 minutes late. You know something important seems to be going on. But we can't figure out the story. We don't know what part we're supposed to play or what the plot is."----John Eldredge

Love
Peter

"Blah"

What a gloomy day.  And I can't even say we needed the rain, cause in actual fact it's the exact opposite.  The crops that just barely got through an early drought, are now being progressively drowned.  I feel bad for the farmers.  The water is sitting in the fields everywhere.

But from the glass half full perspective, I am so glad I got my workout in yesterday.  As promised I didn't do a damn thing today other then take the kids to the movies.  And although Michael warned me to check my brain at the door I just could not get past the fact that the  heroine wore the same pair of 4 inch stilettos for the entire movie, including the jungle scenes with a giant dinosaur in hot pursuit, and not once did she lose a shoe!!  Oh well, we still had fun.

I did have an unsettling moment part way through the movie when Colby asked for another frozen yogurt and I said no.  I probably would have caved if I hadn't warned them beforehand that it would be one snack only.  He never gave me any grief, and yet the discomfort I felt was almost physical.  To have the power to grant them things, and to make the decision to not do so is a visceral sensation.  I'm still uncomfortable about it some hours later.  Being a good grandparent is a tough job sometimes....

It's probably best that Colb is leaving for 2 weeks of camp in the morning, so I won't be able to spoil him for a while.  And camp time brings us round again to the realization that another year's gone.  Would it be a glass half empty kind of thing to tell you that the days are getting shorter??  Yup. Yup.

Sorry.  I told you I was a bit blah.  Only a bit mind you.  I started working through my Mind over Mood book, and so far so good.  I'll keep you posted on that.

And it turns out that I have another free day tomorrow as Sally's beneficiaries cancelled out on a meeting we were supposed to have.  I can't wait to put an end to that saga, but something tells me it's not over yet.  We shall see.  Meanwhile I'm kinda glad that I don't have to give up my Sunday.  I hope the freakin rain stops so I can get outside and do something useful.  Oh, and I'll probably go for a swim regardless.

"And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."---Gilbert K. Chesterton

Love

Peter

"Not Everything's a Race"

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?

or

How fast would you be going if you didn't know how fast you were going?

I'm sure I've told you about this problem before but I still haven't found a solution.  Of course like most things, the answer lies within myself, but that's a pretty stubborn place to dig it out of.  I'm referring to my obsession with measuring every aspect of every workout.

And it's not really the measuring that's the problem, but rather the comparing that goes with it.  I seem to always have some standard in my mind that I need to live up to, typically a standard born of my previous achievements.  And while that's all very well and good for a young athlete because it spurns him/her on to greater heights, it stops being useful once your 59 years old!  Actually probably many years before that, but like most things that require some wisdom, I'm usually a decade or two behind the curve. 

My bike magic number for distance events has been 30 kms/hr for as long as I can remember.  I need to let go of that, cause it just don't make an sense.  In my first ironman six years ago I averaged 29.3 kms/hr.  If that's what I could do when I was 53 years old, what kind of wisdom would have me thinking that I could be going as fast, or even faster, some 6 years later.  More rationally I think that a deterioration of at least 10 percent would be expected.  

I thought about all this while I was out enjoying the countryside today, and I believe some of it actually sank in.  For some reason I was a bit tired mentally before I even headed out and that probably helped.  I knew that to get through the day I would have to train without too much pressure, and that of course meant without letting the clock dictate the pace.

And all in all it went fairly well.

I had a funny moment about 20 kms into the ride.  I was going up a very, very steep hill, steep enough that I could barely stay sitting even in my lowest gear.  Recreational cyclists typically push their bike up this particular little slope.  I was doing some little loops specifically to be able to repeat the hill, and half way up my third time I got a flat.  My first reaction?  "Man, I can't stop here! What if someone sees me and thinks I couldn't make it up!"  I actually kept going for a few seconds before I clued in that my pride was gonna result in the destruction of my very expensive front rim.  I stopped!

And the good thing about getting a flat is that it usually helps me to settle down and enjoy the rest of the trip.  I still watched all the gauges, but as time wore on I gradually came to terms with whatever it was gonna be.  I think the other thing that helped me today was the lack of a clearly defined route.  I decided to just ride where the winds took me, and after going briefly home just to pick up another spare, I headed in the general direction of  Tilssonburg.  And while I never explored any roads that I haven't been on at least once before, I certainly didn't remember all the hills I encountered.  There's nothing like a kilometre long 15 degree slope to keep a man grounded.  Further to that a few of the down-hills were very rough with hidden curves.  This necessitated the use of the only part of my bike I can't stand bringing into play....the brakes!!  And that of course was another reason to relax about performance because there is no way to make up for the energy wasted!

I finished up my 150 kms at an average speed to 27.3 kms/hr.  I am totally good with that.

But of course I had to do a run yet, and after 5 1/2 hours of riding I wasn't too excited about it.  Normally I would run for the first minute before my 2 minute of walking but thought I would try to start with a walk of 3 minutes before I got into my 1/2 routine.  i'm pretty sure that's what I want to do in the race as well.  

Anyway, after 5 1/2 hours of fairly conformable riding at an average heart rate of 110 with several spikes over 130, and after a few quiet minutes to prepare for my run, and after 3 full minutes of walking just to relax I started jogging.

Exactly 30 seconds later, with my heart rate barely over 100, I almost passed out!  And I don't mean I felt a little faint!  I mean that if I had taken 3 more steps I would have fallen face first into the gravel. It was bad enough that I literally had to stop and get my head closer to my feet in order  to regain my equilibrium.  Even walking was out of the question for a few seconds!  

Explain that!  I can't!

But, believe it or not I was good with my walk/run as well.  I did the planned distance of 7.5 kms at a slightly faster pace than I hope to do 42.2 on race day.  That target you may recall is 7 min k's.  I also included a couple of hills in today's run portion because there's a whole lot of them in Quebec.  Further to my planned 1/2 run/walk strategy, my hope in Mont Tremblant is to run down the slopes and walk up, and so I experimented with that today.  Turns out that running down hills puts my heart rate at about the same level as walking up them.  Makes sense.  

And just as a matter of interest my heart rate average was only one beat higher on the run than the bike, and yet the effort seemed like double.  Very weird indeed, but eventually I'm gonna find the answer.  I'll accept what ever it is once I understand it, but I will not rest until I do.  I feel like I'm getting closer.  

So overall a successful day I would say.  A quick jump in the pool and a big meal of spaghetti, with cookies and bananas for dessert, I feel pretty good.  Tomorrow will tell a better tale however.  

I am very relieved to get this workout in because they tell us we're gonna get 2 inches of rain tomorrow.  Sounds like a great day to go to the movies with my grandchildren.  Jurassic World here we come!  I hope I don't get too scared.  Ky said she would hold my hand.

ride 150 kms, run/walk 7.5 kms

And in place of a quote today I wish to give a special shout out to my friend Dan W.  You're story is not over yet Big Dan!  Keep on keeping on!

Love

Peter

"Change Of Plan"

Ha!  That's never happened before!

Okay, maybe once or twice.

And it was actually the weather that changed my mind for me.  Not today's weather mind you, but Saturday's predicted weather.  You see they're promising cold and rain for my planned 150 kms, and so I decided to move it up to tomorrow.  That of course meant that I couldn't do my little test today.  I'm okay with that, because I know that the most important workouts I still have left are the 4 long rides.  I would just as soon not be doing them in the basement.

Tomorrow's weather should be quite favourable for a ride, but with a very unusual NE wind.  That calls for some extra planning.  I just don't have real good loop options for that direction, and I can't carry enough water to do the whole thing as an out and back.  I'll probably have to come back to the mailbox at least once.  We'll see how it goes.

And today I learned from my counsellor friend that instead of focusing on more positive endings to the stories I write in my head, I should simply learn to accept that sometimes stories just go on.  Who says they end? ....hmmm.....

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end."---Gilda Radner

Love

Peter

"Mind Over Mood"

My friend Cathy recommended this book so I'm gonna give it a try.  The premise of the book is one I have long agreed with, the idea that the way you think, determines the way you feel.  It's in a workbook format with exercises that you have to complete.  The funny thing is that I didn't have to go buy the book.  It took some doing to find it, but I knew we already had it.  I remember buying it probably 10-12 years ago.  It was untouched  :)

Speaking of whom, I'm gonna go visit Cathy again tomorrow.  She has been a long term resource for our family and I just love the woman.  She's helping me work through my parenting challenges, But I'm thinking of also asking for her help with my training.  I still can't help but come back to the idea that there's a significant mental element to my running woes.  If I can go out and ride my bike for 4 or 5 hours, why the hell can I not run for at least a moderate amount of time?

Tomorrow, weather permitting, I'm gonna try an experiment.  After a warm-up I'm gonna ride hard for 30 minutes.  I will try to get my heart rate up to a demanding level and keep it up for the entire 30 minutes.  If I can do that it seems to me that I should be able to run for the same amount of time, at the same heart rate.  We shall see.  Maybe I'll learn something.

And the good thing about having to limit my workouts is the amount of stuff I get done around here.  I worked on home repairs from the time I dropped the kids at school in the morning, until almost 8 pm.   Then I had my supper and joined my grandchildren in our new hot tub!  What a luxury.  If the kids didn't enjoy it so much I may even feel guilty.  NOT!!

....and I think this is good advice...

"The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low."---Richard Carlson

Love
Peter

"Stay Calm"

The best thing do do with the kind of workout I had today is to forget it ever happened.  That's hard for me to do.  I walked, and occasionally jogged for exactly 21.1 kms, and it was just pathetic.  I was tired before I got started. And this after taking two days completely off!  It scares me!

I had planned on going at least 30 kms, but had the wisdom to quit while I wasn't totally obliterated.

I will try hard to forget.

walk/run 21.1 kms

"Don't forget to love yourself."---Soren Kierkegaard

Love
Peter

"Long Day"

But a good day.  Got lots done.  And that's good, cause we now start an entire week of grandparenting, so there probably won't be much more gettin done!  Wouldn't change it for the world!

Love
Peter

"Happy Fathers Day"

Or I suppose I could as well say Happy Mother Effer's Day!  Cause if you're the first, by extension you're the second!  No denying it boys!

And when I think about it, I've always kind of appreciated that particular bit of profanity.  It rolls off the tongue quite nicely, and while I wouldn't say it in front of my mother, or my grandchildren, it's almost acceptable in mixed company....at least the company I keep  :)

And it's a very versatile little expression.  It's the kind of swearing I find suitable for a mild to mid level of frustration.  For things like getting cut off on the highway, or hitting your thumb with a hammer.  It's also appropriate as an endearment for close friends or brothers, and certainly for sons!  When applied to myself I usually add "stupid" in front of it, cause I'm particularly tough on myself, or particularly fond of myself, as the situation warrants.

And because I'm a Rooyakkers I also qualify as an idiot, and thereby a stupid, mother-fucking, idiot.  And since it is Fathers Day I need to explain that while my Dad would never have used words like that to describe me or anyone else, I'm pretty sure he thought it a few times when I was a young man. I forgive you for that Dad.  What I can't forgive you for, is brothers Bill and John!  Were they absolutely necessary? :)  Love you Frits. Sometimes I still miss you.

And I'm pretty sure that the fact that it's Fathers Day has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a bit gloomy today.  I'm feeling unexpectedly tired and light headed, and I'm also stressing a little bit about my eyesight.  My cataract is getting progressively worse, to the point that my left eye is practically useless.  I think the stress comes from being torn  between calling the ophthalmologist and the risk that he will say we need to do it now, and leaving well enough alone til September, but then running into complications.

And when I combine the lightheadedness with the eyesight problem, it's quite unsetting.  I feel like I'm  moving in a fog.  Funny thing is, that when I'm working out it doesn't bother me at all.  Certainly sunglasses seem to help.

And I guess the tiredness is just one more reminder to go easy.  I was considering my long walk/run tomorrow, but maybe another day's rest is called for.   I'm excited about our new hot tub coming tomorrow, and I can keep myself busy working on the installation.  I'm also very much looking forward to climbing in it, and  soothing some of my aching old muscles.  Unfortunately it ain't gonna  help my eyes.  :(

So one last time for this year, Happy Fathers day to my Dad, Roo's Dad, my son, my brothers, my extra brothers, as well as Aurel and John, the fathers of my extra daughters.   You're all good fathers, even if you're also a bunch of useless mother-effers!!

...and this is the more colloquial version of my friend Gail's regular reminder to treat each other with love...

“Kindness, motherfucker, kindness.” ---Don Roff

Love
Peter

"Easy Day"

Everything is relative. Only nine weeks to go, and this past week was a scheduled easy week.  That's why I only rode 100 kms today, and indeed it felt easy.  That's good because it's supposed to be.  The next 2 weeks will be full speed ahead, followed by another easy week, and then the last 2 week push before the taper.

I have to constantly resist the urge to do more, or to go harder, mainly because I still think I'm the same guy as a year ago.  And while I still hope to regain that form at some point, I need to remember that it's not the reality right now.  Case in point, after my ride I had a 5 km run/walk planned.  After the successful 5 km run of the other day,  my mind was telling me to try it again, this time after 100 kms instead of 40.

Fortunately I had the wisdom to forget that nonsense right away.  It's just stupid anyway because I am entirely comfortable with my 2/1, walk/run race strategy, and so there is no sense in doing more during training.

And believe it or not I'm gonna take some of my rest days over the next month to work on my swimming.  My horrible effort in Welland motivated that.  Not because I care a lot about my swim time itself, but since my slower times are clearly related to deteriorating technique, better technique will mean less energy expended. I was not tired at all after the 2000 metres in Welland and that's the way I need to feel after 3860 in Mont Tremblant.  That horrible feeling I had climbing out of the lake last year still haunts me, and I need to shake that.  The other benefit of getting in the pool more often will be that it will help me to avoid the temptation to be doing other harder stuff.

And that's about it.  It's hard to come up with much wisdom when you're only out riding for 3 hours or so.  It's just not enough time to get clarity on anything.  But have I told you recently that I love my bike....

ride 100kms, walk/run 5kms

...then again, maybe not everything is relative....

"Poor is the man who does not know his own intrinsic worth and tends to measure everything by relative value. A man of financial wealth who values himself by his financial net worth is poorer than a poor man who values himself by his intrinsic self worth."---Sydney Madwed

Love
Peter

"Whoops"

Forgot to post and now it's bedtime. I had a good productive day. Talk to you tomorrow after my long ride.

Love
Peter

"I Could Get Used To This"

Another rest day!

Instead of beating up my body, I focused on my mind.  But rather than beating it up I tried to exercise it in a gentler fashion.  I went to visit my old friend and counsellor, and received some of her wisdom.

She tells me I absolutely need to let go of some control.  Particularly because of my years of work where I could make autocratic decisions at will, I am a control freak.

She tells me I need to be a little tougher on myself.  I need to be stronger.  I need to be a leader.  If I want to stop worrying obsessively about things I can't control, that means a little more self discipline in my story writing is called for.   No more imagining the worst just because I can.

She says I have a naturally addictive personality.  It's not a wonder that my offspring has such tendencies.  She say's it's fine that I use exercise instead of drugs to control depression, but she doesn't want to see me out there riding my bike for 8 hours, or it's just another addiction.....hmmmm

She says I need to worry less about my lost sheep, and nurture the ones living healthy lives.  It's still okay to reach out to the lost ones, but don't try to force something that ain't there.

She also said I'm a good guy and that when I think I've screwed up, or when others think I've screwed up, that I need to accept it but move on.  As insane as it seems it's possible to feel guilt even when you don't think you screwed up...and that is indeed non value added.

She says I need to allow my self limited time each day to feel sorry for myself, and than get my ass in gear.  This kinda ties in with the getting a little tougher notion.

And she gave me a hug!!!

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength."---St Frances de Sales

Love
Peter

"A Glimmer"

I love my bike!  Have I ever told you that?

I love looking at it.  I love tinkering with it.  And of course I love riding it.  Hell, I even love cleaning it!

And yes I know I've told you this about a million times but it bears repeating just because of  how important it is to me.  When I get on my bike I feel free.  Even with my real or imaginary health problems, it seems I'm never too tired to ride.  And although I am certainly slower than in days gone past, not by a huge margin.  And no matter if I'm riding hell bent for leather with the sweat pouring off me, or just riding gently while checking out the scenery, the pleasure is there.

I didn't decide til I got up this morning what I would do for a workout, but the weather left me no option.  I can always run in the rain, but sunshine calls for a bike ride.  I decided to keep it relatively easy as well, since I wanted to make sure I was over any race trauma.  I didn't even know how far I was gonna go until I headed out.

In the end I rode a very nice 40 kms, at a very relaxed, but fairly strong pace.  I was actually a bit surprised at how good my legs felt.  I could have gone much harder but experience told me to be smart.  I felt well enough afterwards to try a little run as well, and when I say run, I mean run.  No walking!!

I left my options open however, and was determined that I wouldn't do anything stupid.  If it didn't feel good, I would walk.  I'm happy to report that while the second half was indeed a bit tougher, I never got the ugly feeling for the entire 5 kms.  I can't even remember the last time I ran 5K without a break.

So that's the glimmer that my title referred to.  I don't fool myself that it's anything more than a glimmer, but to feel this good just 3 days after a half feels pretty fine.  I do believe that the run/walk strategy I used is a major factor in my good recovery.

40 km ride, 30.5kms/hr--5km transition run, 5:32/km

And perhaps it would seem that my glimmer title implied a "glimmer of hope".  I want to qualify that a bit.  I believe there is great risk in "hoping" for anything, because it keeps us from living for today.  And despite the fact that I find myself failing that challenge many times, I know in my heart that I need to come to terms with the disappointments in my life, rather than hope they're gonna change.  I don't mean that in a fatalistic sense, but the reality is that even if today's problem gets resolved tomorrow, the following day will just bring a new one.  Knowing that, I need to work on not being afraid of the future. The time to live is now, and hope that things will get better, combined with fear that they won't, only leaves us miserable.  I've got work to do.  Thanks goodness for bike rides to puzzle this stuff out!

....and when I went to find hope quotes I discovered lots of fanciful ones about the joy and beauty it can bring into our lives.  I also found a few less hopeful, but more useful ones...

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."---Friedrich Nietzsche

"Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope."---Epictetus

"We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds."---Aristotle Onassis

Love
Peter

"Rest Day II"

Today was a badly needed mental health day.  Life's challenges compounded by a bit of residual race hangover, resulted in a bitter kind of morning.  But it ended better than it started, so I guess that makes it a successful day in the end. Thanks to Roo for talking me through it.

Back at the training tomorrow although I haven't decided yet what that will entail.  Regardless, I'm looking forward to it.

We readily go to the health club when our doctor suggests we need more exercise, but we regularly neglect the 'mental health club' that our well-being more truly requires."---Pico Iyer

Love
Peter

"Gramps, We Have a Problem"

John and I were sitting in the RV in Welland on Saturday evening trying to get our stuff prepared for the race.  As is usual for me, I was a tad nervous, maybe even more than a tad!

My phone rang.  The call display showed that it was the mother of my grandchildren.  I thought that was a bit strange, and I got a sudden feeling of apprehension.  It was strange because she knew I was away, and if she needed something she would probably have called Roo.

The ugly feeling got worse when I answered and it wasn't Miguette, but Colby!

And if that wasn't enough, the first words out of his mouth were, "Gramps, we have a problem"

My heart sank, and my imagination went wild!  The house was flooded, someone was seriously hurt, they had been robbed, etc.

"What's wrong Colby?"

"Gramps!  The internet won't work!  I tried everything.  The extender won't connect to the main router, and I don't know the correct IP address, and I went to the configure page for the NetGear thing, and that didn't help, and Roo's not home so I can't get her to reboot the Asus router!  What am I gonna do now?"

My nerves suddenly dissipated.  The world was gonna be okay.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to help him because he already knows more than me, and we had to leave it at that.

Regardless, I felt more relaxed after talking to him, and despite a very sleepless night, I woke up feeling fairly ready for my first triathlon since the ironman failure.

And it turned to be a a magical kind of day for brother John and I, not so much because of our success, but because of the camaraderie we shared, and the incredible coincidences that facilitated it.

When you start out on a 6 plus hour adventure that involves 3 separate disciplines, as well as a whole lot of gear changes in between, it is rare to run into people out on the course that you started out with.  The usual parting words at the start, are "see you at the finish line."  Sure enough, we swam the 2000 metres without any interaction but when I arrived in the transition area, guess who was right behind me?  This was already a surprise since I swam slower than in the past, and John was quite a bit faster.   So we shared pleasantries, and I headed out on my bike a minute or so ahead of John , not expecting to see him again until the end of the day  Actually there was some possibility that he may pass me on the bike, because he is a bit stronger rider than me.  But I felt good and was riding well, and I never seen him.

And then it happened.  I suddenly felt very alone out on the bike course, and that was because I was! No bikes ahead of me, and none behind.  wtf??  When the pavement turned to gravel, I was pretty sure I screwed up.  It occurred to me that if I had my phone with me I would have called Colby and told him that "we have a problem!"  He would have laughed.  Anyway, since I did not have my phone, I turned around and found where I went wrong, but by this time I had lost 3 or 4 minutes.  Further to that I no longer had any idea whether John was behind me or ahead of me.  Oh well.  I would see him at the finish line, and went on to complete the rest of the bike leg fairly strong.

When I pulled up to the bike dismount line there was another guy just getting off his bike.  He slipped a bit on the now very wet pavement, and almost stumbled into me.  I had no idea, and neither did he, until our eyes met!  Yup!  My little brother!  Un-freakin-believable!

Back into transition where I'm still faster than John, and out on the run course ahead of him.  About 5 or 6 minutes in I heard a cough behind me.....he coughs just like my Dad...imagine that!

Because we were both doing a run/walk thing which resulted in several occasions of passing each other, we talked probably 10 more times over the next couple of hours.  In the pouring rain mind you, but both of us actually enjoyed that.  For me it helped wash the pee out of my shoes.  :)

We finished about 2 minutes apart!!

Amazing!!

And as to the success I mentioned, I personally was happy to get a clean race under my belt, but also like I mentioned, the day really belonged to John.  He was almost 40 minutes faster than his previous best at this distance.  Game on!!  Look out Mont Tremblant

And that's the story.  I took it easy today, cleaned my bike and made some enhancements that I was planning.  It performed flawlessly by the way.  I also put up a new towel rack that my honey requested, and of course fixed Colby's internet!

"Houston we have a problem"---James Lovell

Love
Peter

"Too Tired To Post"

Or perhaps that's too lazy!

Regardless, my race report will have to wait til tomorrow.  For now, suffice it to say that I had a satisfactory race, but the day really belonged to brother John!

Til tomorrow.

Love
Peter

"Bedtime"

At the race site just ready to hit the hay. Talk to you tomorrow.  

Love

Peter

"I Wanna Know Why? The Top ten"

10) I wanna know way.... I worry about material things.  Why I get stressed when "things" get damaged?

9)  I wanna know why.... I can buy 30 bottles of water for $2.69 at the grocery store, but when I forget to take one of those bottles when I go somewhere, that I need to pay $2.00 for one bottle at the corner store!!??

8)  I wanna know why.... my hearing is fucked, my sight is screwed, I got no spit, and my gums are receding??

7)  I wanna know why.... my happiness is so significantly impacted by the happiness of others?

6)  I wanna know why....things never, ever turn out the way you expect?

5)  I wanna know why.... the shingles never blow off my roof when it's warm outside?

4)  I wanna know why.... the years continue to slip by and yet I can't get a grip on them?

3)  I wanna know why.... I gotta flush my water saving toilet 3 freakin times just to make the toilet paper disappear?

2)  I wanna know why....eating feels so good when you're doing it, and so bad 2 hours later?  Oh, and drinking as well, for that matter?

....and the number one thing I wanna know today...

1)  I wanna know why.... I need to change my underwear 3 times a day just so I don't smell like piss!!?

I spent most of the day preparing for my race, and I admit to a bit of nervousness.  This will be the first time I've stuck my head in a lake since Ironman, and the water is going to be very cold. (59 Fahrenheit)!!   I think once I get beyond the swim I'll be fine, but because I remember the cold in Tremblant so well it's messing with my head a bit.  We shall see.  I can't very well bail cause Odd John will be doing it as well, and the shame would be overwhelming.  Game on!.....I guess....

The race is actually on Sunday but we're leaving tomorrow.  We have the absolute luxury of taking the RV, and assuming no one has changed the rules, staying at the race site overnite.  There is nothing finer than first having a nice breakfast, taking a dump in your own private toilet, then putting your wetsuit on before stepping outside 10 mins before the start.  All this while the rest of the slugs are standing in the porta-potti line or squeezing into their wetsuit in the parking lot!!

And that's it for today.  I will try to remember to write a brief post before we leave tomorrow, but if I forget, sorry in advance.  I will of course have the race results for you Sunday evening.

"There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why."---William Barclay

Love

Peter

"No Pain, No Gain"

I think it's time I gave that old cliche a rest.  While I wouldn't say that I consciously train that way, I know that subconsciously almost every workout somehow seems to becomes a test.  A test to see of I can go further or faster, or achieve a certain threshold.  I never seem to be able to go out there and "just do it".  Looking back on the last 6 months by rereading some old posts, it really hit me how far I have regressed.  Times and distances that I was totally frustrated with back in Nov/Dec, now seem like a dream.  That shows what all that intensity has dome for me!!

But it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks.  Most everything I have done in my adult life has been a competition of some kind, and I find it hard to change that way of thinking.  It's habitual.

Take for instance the upcoming race.  I have set a goal time!  What the fuck for?  I truly don't care how long it takes me, and on top of that I know the best thing for me is to simply have a long, steady, and controlled workout.  It's an opportunity to practice my pacing, and an opportunity to build confidence.  Not in my ability to go fast, but rather in my ability to go as slow as needed.

So there you have it.  I need less pain!  Sounds good eh?

My swim in London went fairly well today.  Certainly the Ironman swimming leg shouldn't be any kind of a problem.  I was reminded  during my 3 kms that last years Ironman was surely a fluke.  If I can swim 3000 metres without any anxiety, or any real sense of stress to my body, then surely I can swim 3860 without feeling like I'm gonna die.  That's why I still believe that I was sick last August.

And that's it for today.  Bike cleaning and race preparation tomorrow.

And Mike, the generally accepted high level for Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (TSH) is about 4.0 mIU/L.  Like I said, mine is at 9, and that's with the current level of drugs I'm taking.  I have now  increased the drug by half, which I'm pretty sure will still not bring it down to within the guidelines, but I'm good with that for now.  When he first put me on this stuff my levels dropped too low, and I don't want to yo-yo any more.  Slow but sure.  I will get retested again after Ironman, and then go from there.  Even my doctor thought that made sense.

Besides, based on the experimenting I've done to date, the old cynic in me tells me it doesn't have a damn thing to do with the way I feel.  The drug companies would of course disagree....

swim 3000 metres. 1:06:36

"That's the thing about pain.  It just demands to be felt"---Anon

...and here's a good one...

"Much of your pain is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self."---Khalil Gibran

Love

Peter

"Like I Said"

More drugs! My TSH was just over 9, for those who know about that stuff.  Even though I don't believe it's gonna make a damn bit of difference I'm gonna play along.  Only a small increase in the drugs though, and I won't get it checked again til after Ironman.

Meanwhile I'll continue carefully monitoring my training load, with the intention of doing just enough to build my endurance, but not too much that I break down any further.  Then after the race I'm gonna start all over.  Like a beginner.  I'll do 5K runs and ride my bike to Port and back.  Maybe an easy swim once a week.

I rested today, and tomorrow I will go to the big pool to swim, and then that will be it for the week.  Friday is bike cleaning day and Saturday I pick up brother John and head to the races.  We will take the RV and be right at the race site in Welland ready to go come Sunday morning.  Game on!  Oh, in case you had forgotten, it's a little half Ironman.

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." - Robin Williams

"A miracle drug is any drug that will do what the label says it will do."---Eric Hodgins

Love

Peter

"Oh The Joys of Parenthood"

And no sarcasm intended.  Since you already know all about my parenting woes, I'm gonna surprise you and tell you about a couple of the joys.

The first one came about a few weeks ago when Adrian brought home a survey from work.  He is a Team Leader at the local Magna plant, and as such he is subject to "leadership evaluations".  The group that reports directly to Adrian scored him in 13 different categories.  Four is a perfect score.  Adrian's average....3.6!!!  My personal favourite. "I enjoy working with my Team Leader...3.9!!!

That's my boy!

The second came about today when Michael shared with me the teaching evaluations that his students completed on the Statistics course he taught last semester at the university. Bare in mind that Stats courses are a mandatory and generally hated part of all Sociology programs.  Unlike Adrian's situation, these evaluations are not mandatory, and yet 47 of the 61 enrolled students filled one out.  The students evaluated Michael in 16 different areas with a perfect score in each area being 7.  Michaels average....6.2!!  They also had an opportunity to add comments, and I would share them all with you except if would leave me crying.....again!  I give you at least my favourite.  "Professor Rooyakkers is incredibly enthusiastic and genuine.  He seems truly interested in the success of his students, and it has been a pleasure to be taught by him".

That's my boy!

I think the most rewarding part of these results was that they both immediately shared them with me.  Not just that, but I got a clear sense of their personal pride in their accomplishments.  Makes a Daddy glow!

It also occurs to me that they learned lots of things despite my parenting.  Their success, in both cases, is really about relationships, and certainly that has not been my strong suit over the years. But I don't care, and I don't feel any less because they may have learned good things from their mother, or their extended family, or their teachers or peers.  I'm still proud!

They're my boys!!

As promised I did a longish run/walk today, but I left it at 20 kms cause I was still a bit tired.  I'm getting better at that.

run/walk 20 kms, 2:12

"He only half dies who leaves an image of himself in his sons."---Carlo Goldoni

Love
Peter

"Need Some Practice"

And better planning would help as well.  Instead of carrying a pump I use C02 cartridges to fill a replacement tire when repairing a flat out on the road.  Two reasons for that, much smaller and lighter, and much quicker inflation.

Of course a C02 cartridge is good for only one flat, so if you screw it up, you're SOL!  That's why I always carry at least 2.  Well almost always.  That's where the planning comes in....the planning that I obviously didn't do this time.  As to practice, I think I also may need to go to a different device to deliver the C02 because with my current wheels there is barely enough stem sticking out to get the "chuck" applied properly.  That's what happened to me yesterday.  The device slipped off as soon as I started to inflate the tire, and within half a second the cartridge was empty.  Damn!

Fortunately I was only about 8 kms from home, and my dear brother-in-law Mark brought my pump out to me.  One thing I do always seem to remember is my phone, thank goodness.

As to the ride itself it was sluggish, but other than the flat, uneventful.  I certainly didn't feel ambitious and told myself it was okay just to get through it.  I managed to get my 140 kms in, and then followed it up with a 7 km run/walk.  That went not too badly as well.

Tomorrow I will try for another long run/walk, and then take it easy for the rest of the week.   Probably a few real easy sessions and maybe a long swim, but generally I think it's wise to rest up for a few days before the race next weekend, if for no other reason than to feel rested, and gain a bit of confidence.  I did this race 3 years ago in a time of 5:08, and this time around I will be happy with 6:30, as long as I feel in control.  Holy cow!  We shall see...

And one final note for today.  I had my blood work done on Friday and the doctors office called me today.   He wants to see me, and I know exactly why.  He wants me to take more drugs for my thyroid.  He's a persistent guy and I think I'm gonna let him win this round.  I just struggle so much with the idea of having to take medication for the rest of my life.  It just bends me the wrong way!  But of course my wife is on his side as well, so I might as well just give it up and do what he says.

"Happy is the person who knows what to remember of the past, what to enjoy in the present, and what to plan for in the future."---Arnold H Glasow

"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is."---Yogi Berra

Love
Peter

"No Internet Connection"

And since we are just a small bunch or rural customers no one cares to fix it in any hurry.  Certainly not enough to call the technical guy in on Sunday!!  In the end we  were a day and  half without service.  Update tomorrow!

Love
Peter

'Personal Best"

Today was supposed to be rest day but I needed to do something.  So I went for a walk, and set a new personal best for 5 kms.  Woohoo!  I continue to have fun trying to walk faster.

That was all I had time for because I had to go to London to watch Ky perform 3 different dances as part of her clubs' annual recital.

That of course was very rewarding.  The other 67 performances by all the other lovely children didn't appeal so much.  There were a few that were worth watching in and of themselves, but they were well spaced.  :)

But....her highness was in her glory all day, so life is good.

And in case you're wondering, the glasses are part of the costume.  Kylie's that is.  Mine are for seeing!

walk 5 kms, 6:30/km

"We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success."---Henry David Thoreau

Love
Peter

"Worth The Drive"

Twenty-five percent more life is St Thomas!

That I believe is the official motto of the city, or at least it's been the central theme of much of their advertising/marketing.  It is based on the premise that a home costs 25% less in St Thomas than in London, even though the big city is only minutes away.

And while I can't dispute the significant difference in real estate prices, like everything else, there's a reason for it.

It's because other than a s statue of a dead elephant, and a great deal of dilapidated old railway buildings, we don't have anything in St Thomas other than the cheap real estate.  It stops being a lot cheaper to live here, when you have to drive to London for everything.  One of the few things we do have is one very annoying little swimming pool at the local YMCA!

London has at least 15, including three 50 metre pools, two indoors, and the other outdoors but heated.

This is Thames pool which means a half hour drive for me, but I will probably do the rest of this years swimming here.  It is so much less stressful to have only half the turns, never mind breathing fresh air.   And it could simply be because I'm not too tired, but I had the best swim I've had in a while.

And I decided not to go to the bike shop afterwards on account of I don't need a new stinking helmet!  I know that "need", or lack thereof has never stopped me in the past, but for this time at least I managed to control my impulse.  I tried my current one on just before I left the house, and was reminded just how comfortable it is.  I will spend my money elsewhere.  Perhaps on my grandchildren!

Speaking of which I have to give some kudos to sister Elly for her poignant comment on a post of a few days ago.  She told me to imagine what my life would have been like as a child, if I had grandparents such as Roo and I.  The idea really struck a chord with me.

Sometimes I worry because my grandchildren only have one full time parent, but that's crazy considering all the other circumstances.  The one parent they have is extremely capable, and they also have 2 very attentive grandparents who are a big part of their lives.  Quite frankly, simply due to numbers (Roo is one of 9, and I am one of 12), and combined with a farming lifestyle, both Roo and I really had 2 part time parents, and exactly "zero" grandparents!

And that's all the wisdom I have for today.  One last dance recital day tomorrow!

swim 2000 metres, 2:11/100 metres

...and this one cause I thought it was funny, and it had both 'drive' and 'dance' in it...

"I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."---Mitch Hedberg

Love

Peter

"Adding Value to the World"

If that's our purpose in life then I don't think I added anything today, but I'm also pretty sure I didn't withdraw any.  Certainly there are lots of people that can't honestly say that.

Besides, I'm saving up my energy so that I can do better tomorrow.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it!  ........Although I find it hard.  To accept that I didn't complete any tasks all day doesn't leave me peaceful.  Pretty sad eh?

After a whole bunch of procrastination I did manage to get a bit of exercise, and while I tried to take it easy, it went fairly well.  I focused on relaxing.  It's funny how confident you can get after riding fairly easy for a couple of hours, and then suddenly feel the exact opposite as soon as you try running.  You think you're King Shit when you coast in on wheels, but that feeling goes away with your first step.  I've gotten so much better at it over the last few years, and yet the transition form riding to running is still difficult.

What I did do today, although I'm pretty sure it didn't add any value to the world either, is review the remainder of my training.  I have decided that as a minimum I need to complete 5 more long rides (up to 180 kms with transition run), 5 more long run/walk's ( up to 35 km max), and at least 3 swims of 3000 metres or more.  If I do that. along with the half ironman a week Sunday, then I think I will be prepared  to complete the race.  Everything else will be fill, just to burn calories, and to keep me sane.  I plan on a 3 week taper, with the last week almost totally off.  Doesn't sound too tough eh?

Interesting thing I noticed on my run/walk today.  My legs are indeed sore in a different way than they get from running.  I know it's from the fast walking, and brought me to the realization that practicing more walking yet can only help me.  You truly have to focus to walk fast, because if you let your mind drift, you slow down automatically.  I can actually see it in the data when I download afterwards.  Sometime I'm walking as fast as 7 min/km, and sometimes it slows to over 8.

And that's it for today.  I think the outdoor pool in London is open, and if that is indeed the case I may go there tomorrow.  The real attraction beyond the outdoor part, is that it is a 50 metre, heated pool.  And since I'm gonna be in London anyway, I may as well stop at the bike shop and try that new helmet on for the third time!!  Then Saturday will be another complete day off.  I'm getting good at that!!

ride 60 kms, run walk 5 kms

"I learned the value of hard work by working hard."---Margaret Mead

"The value of life is not in its duration, but in its donation. You are not important because of how long you live, you are important because of how effective you live."---Myles Munroe

Love
Peter

"Good Night Susanna".

Today we celebrated the life of the beloved grandma of Alisha (son Jon's honey), Susanna Nagel.  Never having had such a relationship as a young person, it was always hard to understand how close some people are to their grandparents, and how important they can become to each other.  Funny thing is, now that I'm the grandpa, I understand it completely!  I hope I am as loved when I kick the bucket as this amazing woman was.

Funerals are of course emotional and tiring, but I also find them reaffirming.  They remind me of all the important things, like love and family.  Roo and I felt so special being included in the Nagel clan for the day.  Ever since Jon and Lish have been together our two families have shared a bond.

It was a beautiful ceremony with tons of humorous stories from her kids, and an amazing rendition of Amazing Grace by her daughter in law.  I was pretty well balling my eyes out at that point.

The minister was a pretty good speaker, and he recited a couple of poems, and used a few quotes I really liked.  I only struggled a bit with his closing comment in which he warned us that if we didn't believe in Jesus, that we needed to say a permanent goodbye to Susanna, cause we weren't ever gonna see her again!  Okay Okay.  I struggled a lot!

But that was such a minor aspect of what was really a glorious day, filled with laughter and tears.  Thanks to Jean for letting us be a part of her mom's big day.

Good night Susanna!  I'll "see" you in the morning!!

When we got home I was so motivated, that I decided to cement my own important grandparent  relationship.

That's why I joined my boy in the "ce-ment" pond!  Mind you I had to put my wetsuit on just to get in.  Love you Colb.

"If you carefully consider what you want to be said of you in the funeral experience, you will find your definition of success."---Stephen Covey

Love
Peter

"HI"

I hope you had a nice day.  I know I did!

 We'll talk again tomorrow.

...well maybe...

"No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow."---Euripides

Love

"Tough Decision"

NOT!!

As I mentioned yesterday I was looking forward to maybe sleeping in for a bit, and then heading out for my 30K.

Then at about 4:15 am I got a text from Mig that Ky was sick, and wouldn't be able to go to school. Could I watch her?

I guess it didn't really even qualify as a decision.  You may as well ask me if I love the little girl.

Anyway, we had a delightful morning despite her being under the weather, and when Roo got home from her work at around noon, I still managed to get out for my run.

It was a very strange kind of effort.  I was once more amazed that I simply can't seem to run.  I had a tough time making it through the first minute and a half.  I was already winded.  Fortunately I had decided on a further modification of my run/walk ratio, and 1 1/2 minutes was all I needed to start out.  As soon as my 3 minute walk began I relaxed quickly, and eventually managed to get into a groove.

I had decided that 7 min kms should be do-able but as time wore on I could see I was a bit faster than that.  Somewhere around 10 kms, I decided to cheat just a little and gradually worked it down to 6:30.  My cheating simply involved stretching out my run portions by about 10 seconds.  I cheated a little further by running the last km which was a useful experiment because it quickly brought me back down to earth.  I was struggling by the time I finished.

The good news is that I think all the walking is making me better at it, and it is giving me a sense of confidence.  It could change even further but for today at least, I suddenly feel like I have the right recipe for my Ironman marathon.   I also concluded that I don't need to go much further then 30 kms in training.  It's actually a pretty long session when you spend 2/3ds of it walking.

The only little negative today was that my hips were very sore.  I've had so much arthritic pain in them over the last 3 months, but this was the first time it really nagged at me during my workout.  Hopefully it was just a by product of the extended walking, and will ease off with more walk training.

So when I put the whole thing in perspective, I find quite remarkable.  Last year I would have expected to run somewhere around 5:15 to 5:30 per km, if I ran the whole thing.  Today I spent 2 minutes out of every 3 walking, and I still finished at a 6:25/km!   It seems impossible doesn't it?  The bonus is that I don't feel near as beat up.  Tired yes, but not sore.

So I'm gonna call it a good day and carry on.  What I didn't finalize today was a decision whether or not to add more rest days into the schedule.  I'm gonna procrastinate that call for a few more days.

run/walk 30 kms, 6:25/km

....I love this one.  It took me a second to get it....

"There's nothing like having a grandchild to restore faith to heredity"---Doug Larsen

...and here's my proof...

Love

Peter