I don't want any sympathy, and I sure as hell don't expect any from the likes of my family and friends! Never the less, I'm gonna tell you what it's like for me when it comes to my health and my fitness.
All my adult life I have struggled with a genetic predisposition to both depression, and weight gain. While some of you may reject the genetic part as just another excuse, I also know there will be others who understand. Besides, I'm not an "excuse" guy, which come to think of it may be another family kind of thing.
Anyway, after many years of trial and error(mostly error) I finally came to the conclusion that I can effectively combat both of them with rigorous exercise. I have embraced this lifestyle as an integral part of who I am, and as sad as it may seem, training is my life! Sure there are other elements of my existence that are critical to my well being, my family of course being the most prominent, but as far as any kind of work or play, there is nothing that even remotely approaches the impact that endurance training has on my life!
But unfortunately all this good stuff hinges on having a body that can cope with it!
I woke up this morning at 3 am feeling as broken down as I remember feeling for many years. Probably not since I was sick back in 07/08 has my body felt at such a low ebb. Everything hurts! My head, my throat, my chest, my shoulders, back and legs! After tossing and turning for several hours I finally got up and told Roo that I had made a decision. I was gonna take some time off and let my whole self heal up a little.
But that was this morning!
When I don't work out I get stressed!
When I get stressed I eat!
When I eat I gain weight!
When I get stressed, and gain weight, I get depressed!
You get the picture? A vicious circle!
And one more time, just for the record; I don't want any sympathy! I also don't apologize, because that won't make it any less a reality!
It is now evening, and despite feeling quite a bit better during the day, I am again hurting all over. Despite that, I know I need to do something tomorrow or go crazy, so I'm probably gonna go to Cambridge and try the trail run. My compromise will be that if I'm lazy in the morning I'm allowed to change my mind, and further to that, I'm gonna allow myself to do as little or as much of the race as I like. And all of those on the fly decisions I will make without any guilt!
I plan on having a good day regardless of my decisions.
...and I'm sure I've used this one before but it feels just right today...
"Create around one at least a small circle where matters are arranged as one wants them to be."---Anna Freud
That's somehow where I need to be with my training. If I can only keep that bit of my life arranged the way I like it, then I can seem to cope with the randomness in the rest of it.
Oh, and by the way. Anna is Sigmunds daughter....I checked!
Love
Peter
All my adult life I have struggled with a genetic predisposition to both depression, and weight gain. While some of you may reject the genetic part as just another excuse, I also know there will be others who understand. Besides, I'm not an "excuse" guy, which come to think of it may be another family kind of thing.
Anyway, after many years of trial and error(mostly error) I finally came to the conclusion that I can effectively combat both of them with rigorous exercise. I have embraced this lifestyle as an integral part of who I am, and as sad as it may seem, training is my life! Sure there are other elements of my existence that are critical to my well being, my family of course being the most prominent, but as far as any kind of work or play, there is nothing that even remotely approaches the impact that endurance training has on my life!
But unfortunately all this good stuff hinges on having a body that can cope with it!
I woke up this morning at 3 am feeling as broken down as I remember feeling for many years. Probably not since I was sick back in 07/08 has my body felt at such a low ebb. Everything hurts! My head, my throat, my chest, my shoulders, back and legs! After tossing and turning for several hours I finally got up and told Roo that I had made a decision. I was gonna take some time off and let my whole self heal up a little.
But that was this morning!
When I don't work out I get stressed!
When I get stressed I eat!
When I eat I gain weight!
When I get stressed, and gain weight, I get depressed!
You get the picture? A vicious circle!
And one more time, just for the record; I don't want any sympathy! I also don't apologize, because that won't make it any less a reality!
It is now evening, and despite feeling quite a bit better during the day, I am again hurting all over. Despite that, I know I need to do something tomorrow or go crazy, so I'm probably gonna go to Cambridge and try the trail run. My compromise will be that if I'm lazy in the morning I'm allowed to change my mind, and further to that, I'm gonna allow myself to do as little or as much of the race as I like. And all of those on the fly decisions I will make without any guilt!
I plan on having a good day regardless of my decisions.
...and I'm sure I've used this one before but it feels just right today...
"Create around one at least a small circle where matters are arranged as one wants them to be."---Anna Freud
That's somehow where I need to be with my training. If I can only keep that bit of my life arranged the way I like it, then I can seem to cope with the randomness in the rest of it.
Oh, and by the way. Anna is Sigmunds daughter....I checked!
Love
Peter
I love you and definitely understand that getting old is not for the faint of heart!
ReplyDeleteAlthough you may not believe it, I think I do understand your struggle. Although I'm sure your statement about rigorous exercise is true, I am positive you can take out the rigorous part and it will still be very effective at combatting these issues. The thing is, you can do lots of different exercise that will help immensely and not stress out your body. Getting old is inevitable, but feeling old is a choice!
ReplyDeleteLove hoj