Perhaps this is not a new theme, but the longer one writes, and the older one gets, the greater the chance of repetition I suppose. So if necessary, I offer my apologies in advance, but here goes.
I know that it is only through the grace of god that I am able to swim/ride/run to the extent I do. While I'm not gifted with any special athletic talent, I have been gifted with a certain amount of natural tenacity, and truly gifted with overall good health.
The fear comes to mind whenever I let myself think it could all go away. At the risk of sounding arrogant I truly feel sorry for those who have not had such good luck. There are people out there who have far more tenacity than I do, but that need every bit of it just to cope with the challenges of poor health. Sometimes due to misspent youth perhaps, but for sure as hell I didn't do any smart health things myself for most of my life. Not just that, there are courageous people out there who have simply been dealt a life of illness despite clean living. And while I try not to feel guilty, I admit freely that I'm glad I'm not one of them.
So as I sit here in my easy chair, feeling a bit stressed over Sally, a little depressed because summer feels over, overtired because Colb's coughing kept me up all last night, eating cookies and chocolate to deal with it all, I know it's all gonna be fine, because tomorrow I'm gonna go out and run 25 kms!!
That's why it frightens me! How would I ever cope without?
And in case you think I'm just rationalizing, let me assure you that I have no doubts! I am 100% looking forward to it. It wouldn't make a damn bit of difference if it snowed overnight, or if it is pouring rain when I get up.
I remember talking to Jonathan about the misconception people have of a drug addicts perspective on life. Most believe that your average addict uses to make himself feel nice all over. And while that may be the way it started, once a person is addicted the exact opposite is true. They need to use just to not be sick!
I suppose that the comparison goes only so far in that I would 'not' feel the immediate symptoms of withdrawal, and because indeed the exercise 'does' make me feel nice all over (at least afterwards). Regardless, I think that on some level they are the same, as like the drug addict, I find it hard to imagine a life without my drug of choice.
Sometimes it frightens me!
Deep breath! For today I'm gonna try to put it aside and take some inspiration from my friend Gail, who is one of those people with more tenacity than me. Hang in there Gail, and I pray that you'll feel better soon.
I went for an easy ride today, 34 kms at about 155 watts. It occurred to me that I could easily ride at that intensity all day. I had to smile when I flashed back to Ironman day, and 118 watts!!!
"We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality."---Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Love
Peter
I know that it is only through the grace of god that I am able to swim/ride/run to the extent I do. While I'm not gifted with any special athletic talent, I have been gifted with a certain amount of natural tenacity, and truly gifted with overall good health.
The fear comes to mind whenever I let myself think it could all go away. At the risk of sounding arrogant I truly feel sorry for those who have not had such good luck. There are people out there who have far more tenacity than I do, but that need every bit of it just to cope with the challenges of poor health. Sometimes due to misspent youth perhaps, but for sure as hell I didn't do any smart health things myself for most of my life. Not just that, there are courageous people out there who have simply been dealt a life of illness despite clean living. And while I try not to feel guilty, I admit freely that I'm glad I'm not one of them.
So as I sit here in my easy chair, feeling a bit stressed over Sally, a little depressed because summer feels over, overtired because Colb's coughing kept me up all last night, eating cookies and chocolate to deal with it all, I know it's all gonna be fine, because tomorrow I'm gonna go out and run 25 kms!!
That's why it frightens me! How would I ever cope without?
And in case you think I'm just rationalizing, let me assure you that I have no doubts! I am 100% looking forward to it. It wouldn't make a damn bit of difference if it snowed overnight, or if it is pouring rain when I get up.
I remember talking to Jonathan about the misconception people have of a drug addicts perspective on life. Most believe that your average addict uses to make himself feel nice all over. And while that may be the way it started, once a person is addicted the exact opposite is true. They need to use just to not be sick!
I suppose that the comparison goes only so far in that I would 'not' feel the immediate symptoms of withdrawal, and because indeed the exercise 'does' make me feel nice all over (at least afterwards). Regardless, I think that on some level they are the same, as like the drug addict, I find it hard to imagine a life without my drug of choice.
Sometimes it frightens me!
Deep breath! For today I'm gonna try to put it aside and take some inspiration from my friend Gail, who is one of those people with more tenacity than me. Hang in there Gail, and I pray that you'll feel better soon.
I went for an easy ride today, 34 kms at about 155 watts. It occurred to me that I could easily ride at that intensity all day. I had to smile when I flashed back to Ironman day, and 118 watts!!!
"We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality."---Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Love
Peter
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