"I Guess I Get To Decide"

Proverbial wisdom says that while you can't always control what happens to you, you can always control your attitude in response.

I work very hard to live that advice, but at times I still find myself resistant.  I want to understand what happens to me, and I want to actively control it!  

I think that if I could only get past the first part, understanding, then I may be less anal about trying to control.  

For a while today I was close to accepting my new physical limitations for what they are, but as the day wore on I started to get frustrated again.

You see it was long run day, and I was determined to make it a positive event.  I had no idea how far I  would go, but told Roo before I left that I was gonna quit as soon as I started to feel poorly.  I knew it was important not to repeat the last painful session.  Towards that end, I also decided that I was going to modify my run/walk ratio even further.  For the first time in my life I was planning on spending fully half of my time walking!!

And it went relatively well.  I managed to get 25 kms in, and probably as importantly, I managed to quit at that point.  What's hilarious, is that I actually ended up with a faster pace than last week, even though I added more walking!  It was with this realization, and the fact that I didn't feel too crappy afterwards that I was feeling fairly positive.

But.....

Overall my running gets slower, and slower, and slower!  As the day wore on the significance of this deterioration seemed to grow.  Six months ago I ran the same distance 27 minutes faster!!  Holy shit!!  If only I understood.

So yes.  I get to decide my attitude.  I'm working hard on it, I promise.

Tomorrow I'm gonna get the chain saw out and cut a few things down.  Maybe that will help??

run/walk, 2/2, 25 kms, 6:23/km

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."---Victor Frankl

Love

Peter