Question: If I were to leave this earth next monday would I prefer to be remembered as the guy who finally conquered the Tremblant Ironman course, or simply as a decent man who added value to the world?
Answer: Both!
I think it's the very idea of not having a choice that scares the crap out of me. After all, if I finish the race on Sunday I will be able to rest on my laurels, but if I don't, I will still have tons (well actually tonnes since I'm Canadian) of work to do in order to become the decent man I referenced. And while some that love me may argue that, the reality is that I am the only person who can make a fair assessment, and I know my shortcomings all too well.
To compound the whole thing I don't know which of the initiatives will prove the most difficult. If I have ever undertaken anything in my life with less confidence than I have going into this race, I certainly can't remember it. And as to becoming a better man, it's not about confidence at all, but rather about courage. It may mean making difficult decisions, and/or, changes in my life that I don't want to make
I suppose there could be a third choice. Fail in the event, and then also neglect to make personhood improvements. For now I'm still shooting for both! We shall see.
Brother John arrived today with his lovely wife Linda, and other brother Brett gets here tomorrow with his better half, little sister Teresa It occurs to me that if I don't finish the race these two men will provide an opportunity for me to become a better man immediately. All of my life I have had great difficulty being happy for the success of others. Always there is an element of jealousy when some one else does well, especially if it's someone stealing my thunder. After Sunday I will no longer be the only Ironman in the family!!! I need to be proud of them, and I need to promote their moment in the sun.
Tomorrow is check in day, and the nerves are starting to set in. After that bit of line standing is done I will probably feel a bit more relaxed for a day or so, and then it will start to build again. One thing I shouldn't have to worry about is freezing my proverbial nuts off, as they are predicting 28 degrees, with little chance of rain!! I'm probably gonna be whining about the heat!!
And that's all I got for today. I'm gonna take Gail's advice now and go find Kylie at the playground....
Love
Peter
Answer: Both!
I think it's the very idea of not having a choice that scares the crap out of me. After all, if I finish the race on Sunday I will be able to rest on my laurels, but if I don't, I will still have tons (well actually tonnes since I'm Canadian) of work to do in order to become the decent man I referenced. And while some that love me may argue that, the reality is that I am the only person who can make a fair assessment, and I know my shortcomings all too well.
To compound the whole thing I don't know which of the initiatives will prove the most difficult. If I have ever undertaken anything in my life with less confidence than I have going into this race, I certainly can't remember it. And as to becoming a better man, it's not about confidence at all, but rather about courage. It may mean making difficult decisions, and/or, changes in my life that I don't want to make
I suppose there could be a third choice. Fail in the event, and then also neglect to make personhood improvements. For now I'm still shooting for both! We shall see.
Brother John arrived today with his lovely wife Linda, and other brother Brett gets here tomorrow with his better half, little sister Teresa It occurs to me that if I don't finish the race these two men will provide an opportunity for me to become a better man immediately. All of my life I have had great difficulty being happy for the success of others. Always there is an element of jealousy when some one else does well, especially if it's someone stealing my thunder. After Sunday I will no longer be the only Ironman in the family!!! I need to be proud of them, and I need to promote their moment in the sun.
Tomorrow is check in day, and the nerves are starting to set in. After that bit of line standing is done I will probably feel a bit more relaxed for a day or so, and then it will start to build again. One thing I shouldn't have to worry about is freezing my proverbial nuts off, as they are predicting 28 degrees, with little chance of rain!! I'm probably gonna be whining about the heat!!
And that's all I got for today. I'm gonna take Gail's advice now and go find Kylie at the playground....
Love
Peter
I believe!
ReplyDeleteI am not so sure that you are the one who is able to make the best assessment, but I suspect that you mean yours is the only one that matters? If that is the case, do you plan at some time to stop trying to be a better person? Will you ever rest on your laurels in that regard? Ironman on the other hand is just something you do, its not who you are. Its not life or death, its not even important! You said something to me yesterday that I thought about later. You said I was too relaxed! My thought was, is that possible? I suspect you think I may be a little under prepared, and I agree, but i think the biggest reason for that is the importance I give it relative to my life. Don't get me wrong. I am totally excited to be here, and I am going to brag to all the young men that I work with about my accomplishment and title! When its over, even if I fail,(which never enters my conscious thought)I, will go back home and continue to try to be a better person every day until I die!
ReplyDeleteI am quite confidedent in your ability to complete the race, and I am really looking forward to celebrating our accomplishments along with broth Brett as well.
Love holj
Peter, you must change your thinking to be positive....repeat, I will finish the Ironman and I will be proud of myself for what I have accomplished! The result you get is based on what you tell yourself. The universe is a powerful thing...have faith in yourself! We all know you will do great so believe it yourself. I am inspired by your life storey and you are often a source of my motivation. Be strong, be happy and do your best! Love Lianne
ReplyDeleteApparently I need to focus on my spelling skills...
DeleteStory is not spelled with an "e" (in Canada or the USA). Lol.
John has nailed it, I think. Your reflection is far too deep for a pre-race thought. Like I said before, chill! What Lianne said too, sort of. Believe in yourself and be proud of what you have accomplished. You are an amzing guy and you do amazing things. Try to enjoy the race.. I'll be following all of you.
ReplyDeleteLove, gail