"Good Timing"

I've been a bit stressed all day due to a combination of things.  I was planning on telling you all about it, but just before I started writing I received a comment on yesterdays post that changed my mind

Thanks for the words of wisdom Elly.  I'm gonna relax and focus on things like this for a while.  Where do the seasons go??

Game on!

My "Star"!

Went to the pool today for the first time since ironman, and it felt exactly like I knew it would.  Good, but lousy!  Good to be in the water, but my swimming still sucks!

swim, 1000 metres


“The Sun will rise and set regardless. What we choose to do with the light while it's here is up to us. Journey wisely.”--- Alexandra Elle

Love

Peter

"In The Beginning"

Apparently these are the words words in at least some versions of the bible. I can't vouch for that myself because I don't have a bible to check it out, but I'm okay with taking it on faith...ha,ha,ha!

Anyway, I think the point of these opening words is that before god came along there was nothing.  In essence, before he made a decision to light things up, and to start making something out of nothing, there was nothing!  Get it?  Before there was something, there was nothing.

And that's the nice thing about beginnings, whether they be of the world, or of any other undertaking.  When you have a beginning there is no previous standard that needs met.  God was probably pretty happy when he initially lit up the whole world, but I'm pretty sure that he takes it for granted now, mush as we do.

And that's why I've decided to start over again with my ironman attitude. I'm gonna have a new beginning! I spent some time looking at my posts of 6 years ago, and it quickly became clear that I'm light years ahead of that time, even considering my current handicapped state.  The one and only reason I am unhappy with what I'm doing right now is because I am using the wrong benchmark, or for that matter using any benchmark at all.

This is a new journey and as such it merits it's own start....not just a continuance of the last one.

So.  If you consider that on Saturday I ran 25 kms, on Sunday I rode 67 kms and that today I ran 5 kms before my body gave out, Im pretty damn happy with that for a start!

I went to check in with the damn doctor today and I was not too surprised to have him tell me the same thing Cory told me a few weeks ago.  "Relax!  Be Patient!  You've got lots of time till next August, and we'll figure this out, and get you back on track".  He told me that he considered my efforts over the last couple of months to be "superhuman", considering my blood test results.  He did agree to check my TSH again to see if it's gotten any better, and also my antithyroid antibodies, which should tell us whether I have the family type of hypothyroidism caused by Hashimotos disease.  I also still have an ultrasound scheduled next week just to see what my thyroid gland looks like.

And I desperately want the doctor to be right in regards to his "superhuman" comment, not because it feeds my ego, but rather because it would reinforce the idea that I'm gonna feel much better once we get my hormones levelled out.  Oh, and he also suggested that I consider keeping my workouts at a more normal level until they do.  I'll probably ignore that, new beginning or not....

I'm still debating whether to go try the 25 km trail run on the weekend, if for no other reason than I paid $100 bucks to enter it, and another $100 for a new pair of trail shoes.  Right now I'm leaning towards going.  It's a two loop course so I can always quite half way through if necessary.  After all I know how to quit now!!

And my little bit of joy today came at the hands of my perfect grand child.  Colby got his EQAO results from last year (grade 6), and the fact that he achieved the highest math score in his school was only overshadowed by the immense pride he felt in sharing the news with us..  You da man Colb!!

run 6.3 kms, walk 1 km

....and this is timely advice is it not...

"It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome."---William James

"I Ain't No Quitter"

I may whine a bit now and again, but even when I'm whining, part of me is scheming up new ways to tackle the current problem, what ever it may be.

And I'm damn proud of my tenacity, even while I admit that at times it causes me as many problems, as it provides solutions.

Yesterdays run was a case in point.  It wasn't until today that I knew for sure whether my bullheadedness was gonna reap rewards, or just result in a further setback.

Let me tell you about it.

Against all sense of reasonableness, I decided I was gonna try for another 25 kms, even though 3 days ago I couldn't get past 2 kms without walking.  The difference this time was that I was prepared to accept the walking right from the start, and so I set my watch for a 4 min run/1 min walk strategy.  That ratio would actually have been the plan for my Ironman, the difference being that in this case I was also prepared to accept any pace, no matter how slow.  Here's how it went.

At 3 kms my chest started to tighten up, my heart rate was too low, and I felt a bit faint.
At 5 kms I was still hobbling along, but my heart rate was going even lower. Down to 100 at times!
At 6 kms I felt a wee bit better, and decided I could survive for at least 10 kms.
At 8 kms I suddenly realized that the tightness was gone from  my chest.
At 10 kms I decided to go around the block again and actually skipped a walk break.
At 16 kms I had skipped several more walks, and holy cow....my heart rate was suddenly over 120!!
At 18 kms I decided one more block!
At 25 kms my heart rate was at 135 and I had done the last 7 kms with only two little walk breaks!!

In the end it was the slowest 25 kms I've ever ran in my life, but I think it was good for me.  The most encouraging part was seeing my heart rate go up.  Based on what I see on the BP monitor when I got back from those previous tough runs, I believe that both my heart rate, and my blood pressure were dropping way down when I ran.  Strange I know, and I have no idea why, but it sure would explain a lot.

And like I said, the confirmation that it was good for me came today, when I felt no ill effects whatsoever.  As a matter of fact I had a very satisfying 67 km ride, which for some reason felt totally normal.  Riding of course is much less stressful than running.

So while I'm still a long way from where I need to be, and while I still don't know definitively what's wrong, I at least see a glimmer of hope that it's all temporary.  My blood pressure is still all over the place, and I continue to take the thyroid medication, neither of which I like, but time will tell.  I'm seeing my family doctor tomorrow just to check in with him, and I think I will ask to get my blood work  done again, just to see what's happening.  I'll let you know.

And just for today I am so damnably grateful to two special people.  My dear wife, and my dear sister Elly, both of who completely understand why I am so damnably grateful that I can buy a toy ....when ever the hell I want!!

ride 67 kms, 30.5 kms/hr, 153 watts

"Don't quit. Never give up trying to build the world you can see, even if others can't see it. Listen to your drum and your drum only. It's the one that makes the sweetest sound."---Simon Sinek

"We do not quit playing because we grow old, we grow old because we quit playing."---Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."---Henny Youngman

Love
Peter

"Life in The Country"

No internet!
No post!

run/walk 25 kms

Love
Peter

"I Heard it Snap"

Talk about adding insult to injury.  Even though I seem to have temporarily lost the ability to run, I knew that I could still ride.  And although I wondered how fast,or slow I may be, I also didn't really care today, I just knew I needed to get put there and do something.  In support of that, the creator provided me with perfect conditions, 22 degrees and very little wind.  So I headed out with a good attitude, determined just to enjoy two or three hours of relatively relaxed riding.

I was also interested to see how the recent changes I made to my position were gonna work out.  It's something I've wanted to try for some time, and although it was a relatively radical change I was confident.  I moved my handlebars a full 30 mms forward, and my seat about 12 mms.  This puts my butt a bit more over the pedals, but more importantly it opens up the angle between my spine and my legs.  Theoretically it puts me in a more powerful position, with the risk of adding some pressure in the groin area.  It's because of that risk that it will only prove out over time.  If the extra discomfort keeps me wanting to get out of the aero bars then the change could be negative instead of positive.

Anyway, it was with these two goals in mind that I headed out to my favourite road. I was riding comfortably, feeling good, about twenty minutes out.

......and then.....

I heard it snap!

For a second I thought it was just a rock hitting the frame, as the noise definitely had a carbon fibre kind of resonance to it.  I shrugged it off for about 2 seconds.  That's when I realized my handlebars were loose!
I pulled over and it didn't take me long to figure out that something was broke!  Yup!  Broke!  Not loose.  Broke!

One of the screws that hold the bars on, had pulled completely away from the frame, and knowing that these are usually metal inserts that are cast right into the carbon fibre fork I was pretty upset.  Generally there is no way to fix it!

Talk about adding insult to injury!  I could have sat down and cried.  Instead I turned around and headed home, but quickly realized that it was gonna be too dangerous.  I called Roo.

To make a long story short I decided that instead of feeling sorry for myself I would get right at the problem and face whatever it was gonna be.  Once I got it apart I realized that the threaded metal insert had actually snapped right in two, and that half of it was still in the bike.  After much playing around with the threads, and with longer screws from crappy tire, I actually got it back together and it seemed to hold.  Only time will tell whether the remaining piece of insert is robust enough to handle the load.

And before you ask, yes this was one of the screws that I had removed and replaced  to make my adjustments.  And while I would normally accept some responsibility for the failure this time I ain't gonna!  I checked the manufacturers specifications and used a very precise specialized torque wrench to tighten the screws exactly to specification.  It is a clear design weakness, split between the fragility of the insert, and the length of the 6mm screw.

This all took me several hours, so by the time I was done the sun was nearing the horizon.  I rushed back into the house, threw my gear back on, hopped on the machine and hammered my way around our 18 km block. It was a gratifying 33 minutes at 33 kms/hour, with an average power output of 185 watts!  Dream on!

Tomorrow I'm gonna try running again, and if it doesn't work, I'm gonna figure out why.  There is a whole myriad of things that may be wrong with my body, some of which I may have control over, and some of which I may not.  Once I figure out what's what, I will develop a plan.  And the one thing I already know I have control over is my attitude, and while the plan may have to change as I go forward, the goal remains the same.  To meet my grandchildren at the finish line of an Ironman!

Dream on!!

ride 10 kms, ride 18 kms

"An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult."---Philip Stanhope

....and here's one of those that I wish I had said first...

“He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.” ---Brigham Young

Love 

Peter

"Hold On Tight To Your Dream"

"Hold on tight to your dream
Hold on tight to your dream
When you see your ship go sailing
When you feel your heart is breaking
Hold tight to your dream.

It's a long time to be gone
Time just rolls on and on
When you need a shoulder to cry on
When you get so sick of trying
Just hold tight to your dream

When you get so down that you can't get up
And you want so much but you're all out of luck
When you're so downhearted and misunderstood
Just over & over & over you could

Accroches-toi a ton reve
Accroches-toi a ton reve
Quand tu vois ton bateau partir
Quand tu sents -- ton coeur se briser
Accroches-toi a ton reve.

Hold on tight to your dream
Hold on tight to your dream
When you see the shadows falling
When you hear that cold wind calling
Hold on tight to your dream.

Oh, yeah
Hold on tight to your dream
Yeah, hold on tight...
To your dream."---Jeff Lynne (Electric Light Orchestra)

Love

Peter

"Discouraged"

And even a little frightened.  I managed 2 kms today before I had to walk!  Two fucking kilometres  at a very easy pace!!  I forced myself through the rest of the block but rarely ran for more than a minute consecutively. Several hours later I still feel stressed and short of breath.

This drug was supposed to give me a boost??  Instead I feel worse with each passing day!!  I think the worst part is not having any idea what's going on.  The mind of course starts going all over the place.

What's really weird is that I was actually starting to feel like I was recovering from my Ironman.  Twelve days ago I had a very encouraging 20k, but it's totally gone down hill from there.  I've been on the drug for 19 days, and while they make it clear that it will take time to have the desired effect, certainly to god It shouldn't make me feel this way.

And from a wishful thinking perspective I hope it is the drugs.  It's real easy to stop taking them.

But I think I better  talk to the doctor first, and as such I made another appointment for next monday.

Something will change!  I don't know what yet, but I can't go on this way!

I feel so vulnerable.  Somebody help me!!!

....and I'm sure that I've used this one before but it was good for todays post

"We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality."---Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Love
Peter